I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

There are all kinds of rumors about why the Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony marriage went down in a burst of flames.
Some say she wanted to get back with Diddy.
Some say he was a control freak.
Some say she was hooking up with a male model.
Some say she was getting back together with Ben Affleck.

But, maybe, the reason for the sudden end to what looked like the happiest marriage ever--I kid because it's JLo we're talking about and none of her relationships last--is Scientology.
It seems JLo has been Scientology adjacent for a few years now, palling around with the likes of Mr. Scientology and his Robot Wife, Tommy Grrrl Cruise and Katie Holmes.

And then came the announcement in a  recent interview that JLo ‘wouldn’t mind’ having her twins educated by the Church of Scientology, adding: ‘I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.’
Hard not to judge when they keep their practices so private. Jen.
A source close to JLo--and by source, I mean Tom Cruise, because the girl loves to gossip--says, "Jennifer and Marc couldn’t see eye-to-eye on the subject. She’s always been more into the church than him. He wasn’t a huge fan and it caused problems."
Problems like, oh, I don't know, how the church ALLEGEDLY asks its members to distance themselves from non-members, even if the non-member is your spouse and the father of your children.
And, please to remember, the Church of Scientology has always been touted to celebrities as more of a career-booster first, and a religious belief second, so it's no wonder JLo, who's career was in the toilet for a number of years, would want to join up and save her precious job as opposed to saving her marriage. I mean, she can always have another right? She's straight and they can run through marriages like topilet paper.
And while she is the newest jewel in the Scientology crown, joining other luminaries as strictly hetero John Travolta and Tom Cruise, Scientology is also home to big names like Danny Masterson,  Lisa Marie Presley and JLo’s close friend Leah Remini. I know. Who?
So, it wasn't other men, although I'm sure there were other men, and it wasn't control, although I'm sure Marc's a control freak. It was all about JLo and her need for fame and money.
Color me surprised. 

Looks like trouble on the set of 'The Talk'--CBS' 'The View' knock-off.

Apparently, Julie Chen’s “queen bee attitude” is forcing the ladies of 'The Talk' to flee the gab-fest after just one season. We've already heard that Sharon Osbourne will be taking time away from the show to focus on her family; funny, but Osbourne hasn't given up her other show, 'America's Got Talent' for her family, so this excuse don't fly.
But now comes word that has-been sitcom star, and JLo galpal Leah Remini plans to quit also, and that co-host Holly Robinson Peete announced last week said she will not return for Season 2.
The last straw for Osbourne and Remini was Chen’s order, passed down from her husband,m who just happens to be president of CBS, Les Moonves, that the women were not allowed to discuss the Casey Anthony case without Julie Chen at the table because she’s the only host with journalistic credentials.
You know, hosting 'Big Brother' is a ginormous journalistic endeavor.
A source--and by source, I mean JLo, who cannot keep her name out of the press--says, "[Julie] said, ‘My husband feels strongly that you should not be talking about news [without me], you are not news people.’”
And Sharon Osbourne said, 'Bollocks!' Or maybe it was 'Loo'. Or 'Bangers and mash.' I dunno; I just know it was British and she wasn't amused.
But Chen has her own supporters, who are feeding their version of what happened, and they--and by 'they,' I mean CBS President, and Julie Chen's baby-daddy, Les Moonves--say, "[Julie is] the glue that holds the show together.” 'They' lay the blame on Leah Remini, saying, “[She] was a disruptive force. She had a huge morale problem.”
'They' also say that part of the problem is Remini's mother, who came to the show nearly everyday, and refused to follow studio rules: “Her mother never parked in her assigned space. She was told not to park in the lot anymore. ”
Call out the guards! Remini's mom is in Julie's space again!
In addition to Osbourne, Remini, and Robinson-Peete's exits, are the departures of two of the show's executive producers. Still, co-host, and creator of the show, Sara Gilbert is slated to return.
'The Talk' with Julie Chen and Sara Gilbert.
I see a lot of dead air on that show.

Sound the alarms! Lohan may have a new job!

It seems that website, Cheaterville.com, has extended an offer to Lindsay Lohan to endorse their anti-cheating website in the hopes that it will improve her image.
Seriously. Cheaterville.com's slogan is “Fight Infidelity: Post a Known Cheater Now!”  and is the go-to site to blacklist all cheaters and promote fidelity in relationships.
And they want serial criminal, drug addict and alcoholic Lindsay Lohan to be the face of fidelity?
Well, she hasn't broken up any one's marriage that we know of....so far.
The company approached Lohan in the hopes that it might clean up her bad girl image by having her rat out cheaters and stuff. And the fact is that Lindsay does not have a rep as a “cheater,” but more of a "party girl," "kidnapper," "rehab addict" and "jewel thief".
So let's get Lohan to endorse not cheating, m'kay? See, Lindsay does have some experience with cheating, though not as the cheater but as the cheatee. Cheatee?
Back in '10--does that not sound weird?--Lindsay was the victim of infidelity when, she ALLEGES, her then-girlfriend Samantha Ronson cheated on her. Lindsay was so emotionally devastated that she went on a crime spree, or maybe she just Tweeted her pain: “Being cheated on does wonders to you. I’m doing this publicly because u & ur friends call People. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you.”
So, who better than to endorse Cheaterville.com than a victim of the cheat herself?
Plus, she will ALLEGEDLY be paid some $25,000 for the endorsement, which will buy her a lot of shoes, but not be enough money to pay for her court-ordered therapy.

Shoes? mental health/ Shoes? Rehab? Shoes? Jail times?
Shoes win.

Professional wrestlers always seemed slightly homophobic to me, even though they get paid big bucks to wrestle other men in their skintight skivvies, and they preen and prance like drag queens before each match.

So this little tidbit about some of that homer-sex-tickle behavior goin' on between wrestlers just might be a little bit "woman scorned."

But the former Missus Hulk Hogan, Linda, was making the rounds trying to promote a book someone wrote for her, and she ended up on the Matty P radio show, where a caller asked about the rumor of the Hulkster carrying on an, um, well, intimate relationship with the homoerotically named Brutus Beefcake.

Linda Hogan: "Wow, I don’t know how to answer this, so I don’t end up getting a lawsuit, [but a] little bird told me, ‘Yes they think they did.’”

Well, very interesting. Or is it just Linda trying to slander her ex-husband's name for a few extra books sold.
Still.....Brutus Beefcake?

I Ain't One to Gossip, But......

I smell desperation, and it smells an awful lot like Jennifer Love Hewitt.
See, the serial dater has discovered a new way to meet men. She scoops up rejects from The Bachelorette. Yes, indeedy; leftovers form a reality show.

It seems that at the exact moment that someone named Ben Flajnik got unrosed from The Bachelorette, one Jennifer Love Hewitt took to Twitter, to twat how she's been single since her last boyfriend dumped her and she'd love a reality show reject to come a'callin'.
She actually Tweeted: “OMG! Ben F [accept] my final rose!!! Gotta book a flight to Sonoma!!!”
And then she did.
Hewitt flew to Northern California on August 6 for a date with the 28-year-old winemaker and reality TV hasbeen. An eyewitness--and by eyewitness i mean Jennifer Love Hewitt because no one cares about Jennifer Love Hewitt but Jennifer Love Hewitt--says, “Ben from The Bachelorette is making out with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Oh yeah, Ben and Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared to be dating. All in all, Ben seemed to be perfectly content as the second-place loser on The Bachelorette.”
And then to lose again by hooking up with Hewitt.
Wow. Desperation thy name is Hewitt.
Next up, rejects from the Jersey Shore.
But then, if you don't have a career, you have all the time in the world to whore yourself out.

Wow, Kanye West knows no limits to his offensiveness, and how to market himself via his offenses,

We all remember how he milked his I Hate W period, and then rode his Taylor Swift rant for about a year. But then he kept quiet. Was he growing up? Was he deciding to let his, um, music, for lack of a better word, speak for itself?
No, is the short answer.
Onstage, at the Big Chill Festival at Eastnor castle in England he actually compared himself to Adolf Hitler, and Michael Jordan.
He's the Air Fuhrer.
See, it was while he was performing, that he began to lament the fact that he is oh so popular and well-loved and well-known, and all the hardships he endures from his massive fame, by saying, “I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m f**king insane … like I’m Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.”
But then he switched it up, and said he was a lot like Mike: “Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It’s so much f**king going on in music right now and somebody has to make a f**king difference.”
Kanye West.
Michael Jordan. And Hitler.
Jumping the shark.

It seems that no one likes Lindsay, except bartenders, drug dealers and lawyers.
Lohan was spotted leaving a Coldplay concert last week, looking especially, um, exhausted, I guess is the word, and folks are saying she was also quite upset that she tried to get backstage and was deee-nied.

Rumor has it that Coldplay--Chris Martin, Jonny Buckland, Guy Berryman, Will Champion--and their tour team, know how to handle people like Lohan, and apparently told the serial-rehabbing-criminal where she could go when she asked--and i think she begged, getting down on her knees, you know, to,.....--for the Triple A pass at the UCLA Tennis Centre.
A source--and by source, I mean the guy who holds Lohan's meds, and is the getaway driver on her jewel heists-- says, “When Lindsay was told she wasn’t allowed backstage because her pass didn’t allow it, she threw a complete wobbler. She protested to the people running the guest list, hoping they’d change their minds but it was still a firm ‘no’. She got even more angry when she found out fellow actress Kate Bosworth was there mingling with Gwyneth Paltrow and the band. In the end she got so fed up, she stormed out.”
Oh Lindsay, starring in Herbie doesn't get you backstage to breathe the same air as Paltrow. And neither do arrests and rehabs and criminal activity.

So, what should Lindsay do?
Well, some say she drove down to Venice beach to score a baggie full of white powder.
Look at the video...HERE....I'll wait.

See? Doesn't Lohan look all jittery and nervous? And that is a sandwich bag with white stuff, right?
She’s trying to pretend like she doesn’t need to buy.  She used to have people that did that for her.
But, truth be told, Lindsay and her people, went into overdrive to downplay the incident. Her publicist, Steve Honig, immediately denied the existence of baggie, or, if there was a baggie, it contained just some sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz and quartz. Honig blamed the paparazzi, saying, they "[k]nowingly and consciously making inferences about Lindsay that are completely untrue, and creating a fictitious story to get more people to visit their site. We were not given a chance to comment on this story before it went up, and no effort was made to gather the facts about what actually occurred. When I addressed this with the agency, they told me ‘we’re not the New York Times.’ They have made a horrific mistake; the worst part is, they know it but don’t care.”
Seriously. Sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz and quartz.
And a little ground up Xanax and Vicodin, with a sprinkle of cocaine?
But still, is Lindsay so stupid--and that's a rhetorical part of the question--that she would sit in a storefront and buy drugs right off the street?
Don't answer that.

I love starts and their demands.
Jennifer Lopez and her all-white rooms.
Van Halen and the No Brown M&M's.

But, back to JLo for a minute. It seems that Lopez was scheduled to appear at this year’s Billboard Music Awards when she heard that Beyonce was getting an award. Well, the JLo peeps went into overdrive, asking that JLo get an award, too. When they refused, Jennifer pulled out of her appearance.

The other Jennifer, Aniston, that is,  requests specific cheeses when she’s traveling--but no goat or blue cheese. EVER!!
But the Queen of Crazy Demands has to be wack-a-doo Paula Abdul.
Among the 49-year-old, former dancer, former lipsyncer, former Idol judge, current X Factor judge’s requests are that each one of her assistants must carry and use a tape recorder at all times “because she doesn’t trust her own conversations.”
Well, c'mon, if you were Paula Abdul, would you trust a word that comes out of your mouth?
Paula also makes them DVR and TiVo search her name and record every appearance.
She also asks that her assistants go through her email, and respond to family and friends as the star herself.
I'm not Paula Abdul, but I play her for her friends and family and collect a paycheck to boot!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

So it was just a few short weeks ago that we learned that the father of supermodel Linda Evangelista's four-year-old son, Augustin, was Francois-Henri Pinault, who is also the father of his wife, Salma Hayek's four-year-old daughter, Valentina.

The story everyone is sticking to is that the day or so after Francois-Henri knocked up Salma, the two decided to "take a break" and to Francois-Henri, that meant heading over to Linda's place and knocking her up, too. Now Linda wants child support for her baby boy, and is suing Pinault for payments of $46,000.00 a month.
I mean, come on, being the child of a supermodel requires big dough. Couture rompers and designer shoes for the boy could be very expensive, In fact, according to those in the know, it "would probably be the largest support order in the history of the Family Court.”
No kidding.
But when you consider Evangelista once uttered the line, I "don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day" well, then $46,000 for a month is chicken feed.
Pinault has yet to pay one penny in child support for Augustin, though for his daughter, Valentina, he spends $50,000 a month on a $12 million LA estate he keeps in trust for the little girl. And Evangelista wants her little boy to have a mansion just like his half-sister.
The majority of the monthly sum Evangelista is requesting would cover the round-the-clock nannies, because she doesn't have time for all that, as well as drivers and nursemaids and cooks and governesses and people to keep the child busy while Mommy goes out.
But Pinault, whose family is worth an estimated $11.5 billion, is fighting the expenditures tooth and nail. Like the cost of Evangelista's team of armed drivers for $175,000 a year, and the $80,000 a year she needs for a nanny. [Note to self: check out nanny ads].
The judge looked at Evangelista's requests and instantly erased the part where she asked for $7,500 for monthly “vacation” expenses, but ultimately seemed sympathetic to the security and nanny costs, noting that these may simply be the normal costs for raising a child in Manhattan whose mama don't wake up for less than 10K.
“How many hours a week do you work?” the judge asked Evangelista.
“On days when I do not work, I am working on my image,” Evangelista answered. “I have to hit the gym. I have beauty appointments. I have to work toward my next job and maintaining my image, just like an athlete.”
Poor thing. Drivers. Nannies. Gyms. Hair stylists, Makeup people.
Oh the humanity.

Poor Jennifer Lopez.
First the breakup, and then the slew on interviews where she tells us all how horrible it was being married to Marc Anthony, and how she struggled to get out, and struggled to get a $20 million paycheck for judging American Idol.

Oh.The.Horror.
In the string of  “exclusive but not really” pieces, JLo's peeps run rampant with the Poor JLo speech, and paint her as an innocent victim of the cruel Marc Anthony.
Now, maybe he was cruel, and maybe he was controlling, but the last thing Jennifer Lopez ever seems to be is a victim. I mean, she snatched the cover of Vanity Fair a nanosecond after she and Marc split, except those cover stories are often months in the making. So, did poor Jen leave her horrid hubby last month, or just after the first of the year?
Poor thing.
Next up, she'll be trolling her new piece of man candy, though people are speculating that it'll be an old piece of man candy, named Diddy, or Squiddy, or some such.
Poor Jen. My husband was mean so I went out and got a cover story and a raise and a new boyfriend because it was so hard on me, being married. Again.
Ad she's telling people that she wants for full custody of Max and Emme because Marc hasn’t even seen the kids since the split! But, um, maybe Marc hasn't seen his kids since the day the split was announced--not to be confused with the day of the actual split some months ago--because they’ve been traveling with J.Lo, to New York, to Europe where she was paid a cool million to sing at a rich guy's birthday party, and then to Miami where she's filming her next big flop movie, "What To Expect When You’re Expecting."
I'm expecting it to bomb.
 
Oh Lindsay.
House arrest just ended and you're already drunk in public.
it's nice to see things haven't changed.

More than a month ago, back when Lohan was under house arrest--and partying non-stop--she tested positive for alcohol during a court-ordered drug tests. She was forced to put down the vodka, strap on he Louboutins, and head back to court. She had some 'splaining to do.
But she got sent home with no more than a slap on the wrist because the judge said she was cool with Lohan guzzling vodka by the gallon, bathing with gin, and douching with tequila, but she had to stay away from crack and prescription meds. She could drink even though she's been in and out of rehab so often that the Betty Ford clinic now has a Lindsay Lohan Revolving Door.
And now she's free, and back to partying, and mending her  broken friendship with Paris Hilton. Yes, people, Firecrotch and Cocaine Cooch are friends again.
And after a three-day-drink-a-thon at Paris' house, Lohan appeared drunk and stumbling, or stumbling and drunk, outside the Chateau Marmont. Spies, and by spies, I mean Paris, who isn't really any one's friend, unless you have coke to stuff in her snatch, say Lohan was back in vintage form at the celebrity hangout. Lohan ALLEGEDLY “looked wobbly, and on her way back to her table outside stumbled over again. The next time she got up, hotel security had to give her a hand.”
Naturally, Lohan’s rep, AKA MomWhore Dina, said, "As usual, a pack of lies from people with nothing better to do with their lives than make up stories about a famous person.”
Honey, they aren't making up stories about a famous person, they're making up stories about Lindsay Lohan.

And now, on to our male Lindsay Lohan, serial rehabber, Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Rumors swirled at the beginning of summer that alcohol abuser Meyers was almost suicidal, between the drugs and the booze. It was back in June when police and paramedics were called to Meyer’s London home because, according to various sources, he had overdosed on pills.

But he was conscious when help arrived, and tried to refuse help, but was ultimately taken to a hospital where he ALLEGEDLY had his stomach pumped, and then was released. Some called it a “suicide attempt” but others say it was just another weekend for Meyers.
Now, however, comes new video of Meyers, wasted, and singing Bob Marley tunes in a pub. It seems that Meyers met a group of new friends, read: strangers, at the pub, where they all got  hammered, and then he took the party to a private home, where someone videotaped Meyers drinking cans of cider and trying to sing “No Woman No Cry”.
This just weeks after the ALLEGED suicide attempt.
This is not good. He's on the Lindsay Lohan Plan, having been in and out of rehab FIVE times.
Sad to say, but I envision a scene like the one in Valley of the Dolls, when Neely O'Hara meets former movie idol, Tony Polar, at a sanitarium. Only this time, the scene is real, and it's Meyers and Lohan.

I'm not a fan of Miss Justin Timberlake. i think she's fond enough of herself for the both of us. And stories like this don't make me think of any more highly, though definitely more lowly, of the diva.

During a recent night out at The Boom Boom Room, a source--and by source I mean Britney Spears who was sitting under a table in the corner chewing her hair--said, “He was really in a terrible mood. He was awful to the staff, making unreasonable demands and acting like a total prince.”
Princess.
And you'd have thought he would have been a total angel, given that the party was the premiere of his new smash hit....i kid.....movie, Friends With Benefits. However, the singer/actor/dancer/clothing designer/serial SNL host/asshat was in a rotten mood and complained about everything.
The champagne was flat. So was the second glass. Even after the waitress opened a brand new bottle in front of Miss Thang, she was not happy. In fact, he loudly announced that he would lower himself to drinking the champagne because he was “sick of dealing" with the waitress.
Understandably, everyone, from the bar staff, to his friends, and even his mama, was relieved when Miss T left the party, though many heard Miss Justin warning his driver that if he wasn’t parked right outside the front door, he would “lose his s***!”
Oh, honey, you've already lost it.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......The Diva Edition

It seems that every day yet another celebrity is being YouTube invited to the Marine Corps Ball by one of our active duty men or women. Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake received invites, as did grande dame, Betty White.

But the latest is little Miss Scarlett Johansson, who rejected the invitation almost the instant she got it, but did release a statement:
"I feel incredibly honored to have been invited to the Marine Corps Ball by Sgt. Dustin L. Williams. Not only does Sgt. Williams deserve recognition for his bravery, selflessness and dedication to the United States and its people, but he also displays a cheeky talent for film making.Sgt. Williams, unfortunately due to prior commitments I will not be able to attend the Ball with you this year but I am sending you a case of Moet and Chandon with gratitude. In my absence, I raise a glass to you and all the men and women of the U.S. Marine Corps, past and present, in thanks for your continued commitment to preserving the safety of our nation."
Oooh, her agent has a way with words. It's nice that ScarJo wants to raise a glass in salute, though she's too busy to dance with a guy who's risked his life for her. And that little nugget about the case of champagne, well, that's a nice touch.
Um, except.......
ScarJo is paid to represent Moet and Chandon, and didn't even pay for the champagne. Thanks for your service, here's some free stuff I get because I'm a movie star.
Dee-va.

Madonna, still sitting in her London manse and wondering how to get her career back from Lady Gag, is once again obsessing over the thing she loves more than anything in the world: herself.

Or rather, the shell of a body in which she carries herself.
She used to have her own personal trainer, that she carried around with her in a special Louis Vuitton bag whenever she traveled, and the trainer, Tracy Anderson, is the one credited with Madonna's Scary Veiny Arms. And all was well in the land of Madge.
But then Tracy broke free from the luxury confines of the LV bag, and wanted to open a gym, using her ability to create Scary Veiny Arms as an advertisement, Madonna wasn't playing.
Nobody makes money off Madonna, except for Madonna.
So, Tracy left. And, not so coincidentally, opened up her gym with former, FORMER, Madonna BFF, and media whore know it all, Gwyneth Paltrow. All caught up? Madonna loves herself? She has Scary Veiny Arms?
But what frightens Madonna even more than her SVA's?
The number 53, which she will become this August. And, ALLEGEDLY, she will pay whatever it costs not to age. So, she’s purchased a Cellupulse anti-cellulite acoustic wave therapy machine for $75,000, and uses it as religiously as she uses Kabbalah, and then obsessively measure her thighs and buttocks, and fly into a rage in their is even the smallest increase in flab.
According to an insider--and I think it's Lourdes--Tracy Anderson is not the only victim of Madonna's anti-age obsession: “The measuring and ranting used to drive her ex-husband crazy. Guy Ritchie would mock her and joke that he noticed a few new dimples, which he thought was tremendously funny, but she obviously didn’t. [She] wants the body of an 18-year-old dancer and believes she can maintain her youth if she works hard enough in her gym, which is covered from floor to ceiling with mirrors. She scrutinizes her body in every position, looking for fat like an FBI detective.”
And apparently her obsession has caused her to drive away more than trainers and husbands. The boy-toys are not exempt from the Cottage Cheese Rages: “Those wishing to stay in her good graces have learned to stay mum on the subject, especially her young male companions.”
Young male companions? This causes me to giggle, because every time I see a photo of Madonna with some fresh-from-puberty boy toy, my minds eye goes straight to Hugh Hefner; you know, the old geezer who surrounds himself with young girls to make himself feel desired and hot. How long before Madge starts sporting the sea captains hat in public/
Madonna and Hef. Po-Tay-Toe, Po-Tah-Toe.


Let's see, you used to be one of the stars of the hottest shows on TV, and then, on your hiatus, you made a movie that proved successful, so you thought you were the new It Girl. And so there was trouble and strife on the TV show. You were on, you were off. You were on, then you were really off, and your movie career is headed In Direct-to-DVD status.

Yet you still act the diva, Katherine Heigl. Why?
It seems La Heigl was in New York and wanted to see The Book of Mormon, so she took along her mother and her husband, Josh Kelly. It all sounds so civilized, unless you think you're better than everyone else. Which is Method Heigl.
See, Katherine and her mother showed up at the theater twenty minutes late, and were allowed to stomp down the aisle and disrupt the show for people who probably don't have agents who got them free tickets. And, as if that isn't the Height of Heigl, her trained puppy of a husband showed up ten minutes after that and proceeded to whimper and purr as he prowled the aisles looking for Mama Meal Ticket.
Who was sitting quietly, wearing ginormous sunglasses so the actors onstage wouldn't recognize her and stop the show to ask for an autograph, I guess, and smoking one of those electronic cigarettes.
All she needed was a white cat sitting her lap and she'd be a Bond villain.
AND a hasbeen.

I am not much of a Beyonce fan. I mean, she's an okay singer, and a pretty good dancer, and she has great hair and a fabulous twenty-four hour wind machine to move said hair.
But I get sort of annoyed by all these entertainers who want to hyphenate themselves beyond reason. I mean, I can see singer/actor. or actor/director. That's okay. But Beyonce is singer/dancer/actor/producer/fashion-designer/perfume-maker/and so on.

Now, though, little Miss If-I-Can-Make-Money-Off-My-Fans-For-Anything-At-All-I'll-Do-It, has decided that she needs to issue a Beyonce Cookbook.
Yes. She is.
This comes as interesting news because Beyonce is a self-described "disaster in the kitchen” and, when she gives dinner parties, she “order[s] from the best restaurants and [has] the food delivered.” But her new BFF, who apparently traded in an old Madge for a New Beyonce, Gwyneth Paltrow, also "wrote" a cookbook, and if she can do it, Beyonce can too.
Beyonce says her new cookbook will show her fans, I guess through cooking, how she stays so bootylicious. And her cookbook will feature old family recipes from her Mama, like collard greens, cornbread, mac ’n’ cheese and fried chicken.
Not Beyonce's recipes, mind you, but someone else's recipes with her name, face, booty and wind-driven hair on the cover.
I ain't buyin' it.

She goes out nearly every night, jetting back and forth between LA and NYC, and rents a $7,000-a-month Venice beach condo, but Lindsay Lohan is saying she's actually broke.
I mean, we all knows she's busted.....

See, the last time she was sued because she didn't pay a bill--probably the one to her prescription medicine dealer--Lindsay claimed poverty. See, drugs and rehab don't come cheap; not to mention the team of lawyers who work 24/7 top keep her out of jail. But now Lohan is being taken to small claims court for failing to pay a sound system specialist for work that he did in June.
She can't pay her bills. This from the girl who wear $1200 shoes to court and then claims she can pay for therapy because her insurance has lapsed. So she couldn't pay the sound guy his $1,180 bill, either. I mean shoes and drugs and vodka, yes. Therapy and menial laborers, no.
And now she's in a court of a different color.
Stephen Clark is claiming he is owed money after selling her speakers, and installing audio and video equipment at her house in Venice Beach, California. He is demanding $1,180 in his small claims court lawsuit for the equipment and work he missed out on.
The only saving grace, in Lohan's eyes at least, is that if she loses this case, it doesn't come with jail time.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Lady Gaga gets accused of a lot of things. She been accused to using the LGBT community, and our struggles, to sell records. She's been accused of being too controversial to sell records. She's been accused of stealing Madonna's career, as well as some of Madonna's music.
Now, she's got The Divine Miss M, Bette Midler, on her tail. Her fish tail, that is.
Apparently, on the Sydney leg of her Australian tour, Gaga caused more controversy by rolling onto the stage in a wheelchair, dressed as a mermaid.
Naturally, differently-abled activists were upset by Gaga's antics, and demanded an apology; and they are ALLEGEDLY behind the egg-throwing attack on Gaga as she left a gay bar over the weekend.
But Bette Midler has a different fish bone to pick. She took to Twitter to remind Lady Gaga that she, yes, Bette Midler, originated the Mermaid wheelchair bit over three decades ago: "I’m not sure @ladygaga knows that I’ve performed my mermaid in a wheelchair for millions of people--and many of them are still alive...."Dear @ladygaga if you think a mermaid in a wheelchair seems familiar--it's because it is! You can see it on youtube 24/7-with ME performing it"

She also remarked, "I've been doing singing mermaid in a wheelchair since 1980-You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker tits - mermaid's mine."
Don't piss off a diva, Gaga. Bette Midler created the character of Dolores del Lago, a wheelchair-bound mermaid, years ago.
Years.Ago.
Gaga, who was born in 1986, claims she had no idea: "I had no idea she did that and I'm a huge Bette Midler fan. Maybe we're just cut from the same cloth. I couldn't hop around in that tail so I just stuck myself in a wheelchair."
Oh, Gaga, how, HOW, can you claim to be a huge Midler fan and not know about Dolores del Lago?
Something smells fishy......and I think it's Gaga,


When Lindsay Lohan isn't in court, she's doing a photoshoot. And when she sin't doing a photshoot, she's doing interviews, talking about her desire to get her career back. or making up cray-zay stories.
Because her film career, such as it was, is not exactly laser hot these days.

Lohan ALLEGEDLY feels that she deserved to portray a deranged ballerina in "Black Swan," the dark Darren Aronofsky drama for which Natalie Portman won her first Oscar. 
We all know that all Lohan wants out of life is an Oscar...and by Oscar, i don't mean the guy on La Cienega who deals in illegal prescription meds.
Lohan ALLEGEDLY angered Plum Miami writer, Jacquelynn Powers, who says Lohan tells anyone and everyone that she "took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie 'Black Swan.'"
Of course, Powers also writes that Lohan is addicted to other things besides prescription meds and alcohol; namely drama. Powers says Lohan was "constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister ... or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels."
Why is Powers pissy about Lohan? 
Well, Linsanity was being photographed for some cheeseball magazine, I mean, Plum Miami, and promised an interview with Powers, but then she flaked. Apparently, she was asked to get back in front of the camera, a movie camera, and scurried off as fast as her little rat legs could carry her.
Of course, it's not a feature film, or a direct-to-video release, or even a Lifetime movie. No, Lindsay's return to the screen will be in a music video playing herself, for the Florida based band, The Miggs. 
Her "people"--and by people, I mean her fame-addicted stage monster, Dina, are saying Lindsay took the part in the video because she wants to ease back into making films.
Which is Dina-speak for "No one wants to hire my mentally ill, alcohol addicted, drug taking jewel thief of a daughter and put her in a multi-million dollar movie and watch her walk off, er, drunkenly stumble off, with the wardrobe in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.
Still, Lindsay Lohan in the Black Swan.
It's funny, cuz it's insane.


Poor Chris Brown.
He beats women. He gets mad when asked about beating women and he throws furniture.
He ALLEGEDLY tosses about homophobic slurs on the basketball court.

Now, he is ALLEGEDLY at war with his fellow West Hollywood condo owners, who claim the singer is the "neighbor from hell." they say he parks in the in handicapped spaces, he blasts his music, his music, at all hours, and races his dogs in the hallways.
In fact, pictures of Chris Brown's cars, clearly parked illegally have surfaced, and even the building manager is speaking up about the Bad Little Girlfriend Beater's antics.
Of course, Chris' lawyer, media shark Mark Geragos, says Chris is the one getting screwed, as the deed clearly shows the two spaces belong to Chris. And he says the developer never disclosed that they were handicapped spots.
Um, Chris, you dickhead? That little sign, above the spaces, and probably pained ON the spaces, of the wheelchair, means they are handicapped spaces. I think even a dickhead like you can understand that, once you pull your giant head out of your ass.
Chris has only lived in the building a few months and already everyone feels lie Rihanna.


Hmmm, why oh why did they split? Those two cray-zay kids seemed to have it all.

But, as soon as Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced they were separating, came rumors that she was having an affair with hot Latino hunk, William Levy, who starred as JLo's lover in her video for “I’m Into You”.
Levy conveniently divorced his wife right after the shoot, but is denying any affair with Lopez. Which may be true, as Levy has other things on his plate: namely charges that he raped a young girl and gave her a venereal disease.
He is being sued for that, and court documents state that on July 19, 2010: “Through deception and trickery Levy, with the aid of several members of his entourage, lured Plaintiff back to the Hilton Hotel in Glendale. Plaintiff, who was infatuated with Levy--a rising star of international renown for his work on Spanish language telenovelas--wanted his autograph. During the course of their conversation at a Hilton restaurant, Levy invited Plaintiff to a private room for discussion. Defendant then maneuvered himself so that Plaintiff could not walk in any direction without passing Defendant.”
The complaint goes on to state that Levy “forced Plaintiff to perform [sex act] on him, strangling her in the process. He ejaculated in her mouth, on her person, through which he transmitted a sexual disease to plaintiff. Plaintiff was subsequently taken to urgent care at Concentra Medical Center by a friend.”
Wow......wow.
Um, I hate to think that this is true, I mean, the JLo part of it is all rumor. And the last thing she needs is a venereal disease. Again.
ALLEGEDLY.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

It looked for about a second there that Charlie Sheen might actually be "winning". But then one of his Goddess moved out of the Sober Valley Lodge--which was subsequently put on the market--and just last week Goddess Two, who had become Goddess One since One could not complete her reign, also left the building.

And then came word that Sheen would be returning to television.
The former "Two and a Half Men" star, who was booted from the show after several drug and porn start fueled rampages and tirades,  has ALLEGEDLY signed a deal with Lionsgate Television to create a new show to air on a cable network; a couple of those cable guys are ALLEGEDLY bidding on the show.
A source--and by source I mean any one of the wacknuts still sponging off the soon-to-be-broke ex-TV star--says, "Charlie has inked a deal with Lionsgate Television to create and star in a new sitcom. Charlie's character will be very similar to the one he played on 'Two And a Half Men,' however the show will be a lot racier."
Oh, so he's stealing the idea? Winning?
Rumor has it that Lionsgate has agreed to produce ten episodes, with a look to option 90 more if ratings are high. This could be good for Charlie, y'all, and the drug and porn star escort business, both of which have taken quite the monetary hit since he's been out of work.
Sounds good except......now there are reports that it doesn't appear that a deal has been signed yet between Sheen and Lionsgate, and that TBS, one of the networks mentioned to be in talks to carry the program, have denied any involvement.
Sounds like more Sheen bullshiz.


They met, fell in love, had a baby, broke up, fought over custody, ended their battles for the sake of their child, and then......

The custody fight between Halle Berry and ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubrey over daughter Nahla is ALLEGEDLY still going strong, since Berry made an appearance in family court this week and accused Aubrey of violating an April custody agreement.

Laura Wasser, Berry's attorney, submitted lengthy documentation focusing on Aubrey's parenting skills, which accuse the male model of neglecting his daughter during an overseas visit and putting her safety at risk. Now, Halle wants the judge to rule that Aubrey did violate the agreement and deny him custody of the girl.

The judge set a hearing for a later date.
You know, they've been having this battle for half-a-year now, and every time it hits the press they settle down and say they'll work together to parent their child. And then, as the dust settles, they're back in court with the same arguments.

Maybe little Nahla would be better off without such litigious parents.


JLo's ego has gotten bigger than her ass, ALLEGEDLY.

It seems that Miss Lopez, who thinks she's all that, and a bag of chips, on American idol, recently admitted to the BBC that she's "on the fence" about returning to the long-running talent show. And some, like me, are saying she's spewing this crap because she's holding out for a bigger paycheck, rather than being grateful that after years of god-awful movies and music, she actually had a hit song this year.

Thanks to Idol.

But the folks over at Idol aren't worried about JLo returning, or her demands for a paycheck as grand as her derriere. No, Idol is ALLEGEDLY already looking at possible replacements should JLo start being a  money-grubbing whore.

I giggle. Start being a money grubbing whore?

A source at Idol--and by source, I mean none other than Miss Ryan Seacrest--says, "Right now the star of 'American Idol' is Steven Tyler. Everyone thought after Simon announced he was leaving that [Lopez] would fill the void. How wrong were they? It's all about Steven, who's already signed on for season 11."

La Dopez, er, Lopez, might want to rethink asking for a pay raise from her current $12 million a year salary.
She has a big ass and she's acting like one, too.


Courtney Love, AKA Lindsay Lohan's older twin, has had a bit of a rough week....and perhaps year....and maybe lifetime.

Just a day after Courtney Love split from her British boyfriend, the A-Hole singer has found herself amidst a rather bizarre episode of grand theft auto involving photographer David LaChapelle and director Brett Ratner.
According to that bastion of integrity and professional journalism, the New York Post, Love was at the exclusive SoHo House in New York when she offered to pick up Ratner and take him to LaChapelle's exhibition at Lever House.

That, however, did not happen.

ALLEGEDLY Love took the car and did not return at all, which left LaChapelle quite worried about his ride. In fact, a source at the SoHo House--and by source I mean bellhop--says, "Courtney did take his car. David was flipping out and going crazy at the front desk that Courtney stole his car."

Hold up though. Now Brett But Ratner has come forward saying that Courtney and David are still BFFs, and that Love was supposed to drive him in LaChapelle's car but he was too tired to go, so she took the ride solo.
Uh huh.
I'm leaning toward Love pulling a Lohan-type car theft, and no one, not even LaChapelle, wants to admit he allowed Courtny Love...COURTNEY LOVE....drive his car.


As of this past Wednesday, Lindsay Lohan is a free woman. Again.

But for how long? I think we should start a pool on when Lohan

But I digress.

So, how did La Lohan celebrate her first taste of freedom after a month or so of house arrest. By going out! And, from the looks of her first night on the town, Lohan should think about staying home a little longer. Like a Norma-Desmond-long-time.
That photo, over there, was taken this week, just a few days shy of Lohan's 25th birthday.
Yes, folks, that's what twenty-five looks like these days, after stealing cars and jewels, and getting into fights, and falling down drunk, and being a prescription medicine and alcohol addict.
She should be the poster child: this is your face on drugs!
Lock up your cars and jewels, people, and put a latch on the medicine cabinet.
Lohan's back!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

They tried to make her go to rehab, she said No No No....Okay, but only for a week.

Yup, after just a week in rehab for her ongoing battle with sobriety, Amy Winehouse checked herself out because she had to get to her European tour. You know, to make more money for more booze and drugs.

Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Trouble is, Amy wasn't ready to perform...apparently.
In her first concert of her "comeback" tour in Belgrade, Amy Winehouse didn't so much sing and dance as she did slur and sway.
If fact, La Winehouse was so awful, and so out of it, one of her backup singers took over singing the lead vocals on the songs Amy was struggling with--which was all of them--and many in the crowd booed and left the venue. At one point, Winehouse ALLEGEDLY threw her microphone to the stage and then proceeded to take a seat on the equipment or wander about the large stage in a daze.
Her representatives, hoping to cash in on the troubled singer, have already scrapped the next two dates of the tour, in Istanbul and Athens because "she cannot perform to the best of her ability" and feels "this is the right thing to do."
Um, the right thing to do, for everyone, would have been to keep her in rehab until she was sober enough to perform at least one song.
Instead, her tour resumes July 8 in Spain.

Wactress and former model Estella Warren who was charged last week with DUI, hit-and-run, battery on a police officer and resisting arrest, has checked into a residential treatment center and has volunteered to wear a Lohan anklet, AKA an alcohol-detecting SCRAM bracelet.

Nice, but, um, a little late, eh?
Maybe she should have tried to get sober before wreaking havoc on the streets of LA.
Whoever she is.
Her attorney says, "She wants to prove she isn't drinking. She's committed to making the situation right and moving on in a way that's appropriate. This scenario can be the catalyst for significant change. Estella's attitude towards this whole thing is awesome. She's more than accepting. She's embracing the personal opportunities that have come from this."
Yes, awesome isn't it.
To get rip roaring drunk and then drive, and while driving drunk as a skunk, you hit several parked cars, and when an officer tries to detain you, you assault him and resist his attempts to arrest.
Yeah, she's awesome all right.
Maybe we should call not drinking and driving awesome; not hitting parked cars awesome; not assaulting someone awesome.
Warren faces up to six months in jail on the four misdemeanor charges.
Now that's awesome.
 
You don't mess with Anna Wintour, and you don't make Hitler comments on a Steven Spielberg film.
Someone should have told that to Megan Fox.

It is being ALLEGED that Spielberg demanded that Megan Fox be fired from the third 'Transformers' movie after she compared director Michael Bay to Hitler.
Michael Bay is quoted in London's The Daily Mail as saying, "You know the Hitler thing. Steven (Spielberg) said, fire her right now."
Fox was replaced by Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in the latest installation of the 'Transformers' series called 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon.'
Fox shot into the limelight after the first two 'Transformers' movie, and became the next It Girl--though now she might be the Was Girl--after telling London's Wonderland Magazine, "[Bay] wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it's endearing to watch him. He's vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he's a tyrant."
Adolf, er, Michale Bay did say that he was not hurt by the said the Hitler comment, but apparently Spielberg wasn't having it. In fact, he wasn't the only one who was not a fan of Big Mouthed Megan. In an open letter on Michael Bay's website, an anonymous crew member wrote: "We've had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both 'Transformers' movies."
Ouch.

Oh, I knew he'd bounce back.
Mere minutes after being left very near the altar, Hugh Hefner has found himself another plaything; and an older one at that.

Yes, people, we can all rest easy now that Hef has found a new love to ease the broken heart of having his six-decades-younger bride, Crystal Harris, walk out on him just days before their nuptials. And this new, older, woman in Hef's life? Well, it's none other than Miss January 2011, Anna Sophia Berglund, who is just five-decades-nine-years-three-hundred-forty-one days younger than Hef.
But before anyone thinks this all about love and happiness, let's remember who were dealing with: the Consummate Ladies Man. And, as a Playboy insider says, "The image of an old man sitting at home broken-hearted is bad for business. Hugh knows that what's best for the brand is for him to start dating again no matter how much pain he is in."
So much pain, so many nude models.
And now, just days after Tweeting of his anguish at being left bride-less, Hef Tweeted: "After all is said and done, staying single is probably the best. I think I just missed a bullet."
And gained a new cover model.

Well, it never takes long for former wacktress Lindsay Lohan to get in trouble, does it?
It seems that the serial rehabber and career criminal tested positive for alcohol and has been ordered to appear in court.
Tested positive while she was on house arrest, mind you.

It is being reported that Lohan was tested twice last week for drugs and alcohol, while serving her sentence under house arrest, and she tested positive for alcohol. She is under house arrest for stealing a necklace from a jewelry store.
This positive test is, of course, a violation to the terms of her probation and the 24-year-old alcoholic jewel thief appeared in front of Judge Stephanie Sautner last Thursday.
A source--and by source, I mean the guy who mixed the Mojito for Lindsay at her last House Arrest Party--says: saying, "Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox said she couldn't consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court tomorrow."
Seriously, when is this fool gonna do some actual jail time? And, by actual, I mean longer than a couple of hours. She has been handed every chance in the book and she keeps doing whatever she pleases.
Maybe an actual prison term will snap her out of it.
Or make her better at covering her jewel-thieving-drinking-and-drugging antics.
UPDATE: No jail for this criminal. She says the alarms went off because of the special 'tea' she drinks, which has 5% alcohol. Funny how it hasn't affected her SCRAM ankelt before now, huh?