I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Shia LaBeouf--which I believe is french for Timid Piece Of meat--was ALLEGEDLY involved in a meltdown at LA hotspot The Box in which he ALLEGEDLY spit water at shock rocker Marilyn Manson.
According to witnesses--and by witnesses, I mean people who got sprayed with Shia water--LaBeouf suddenly became angry with his date while at the club and began shouting at her.
A witness said--while drying off-- that “Shia picked up a water bottle and shot a mouthful of water all over his date’s legs. Then he put more water in his mouth and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson.”
Did he think Manson would melt? I dunno, but Manson ALLEGEDLY remained seated during the unwelcome bath, and even tried to calm Shia down, but LaBeouf, who folks say "seemed wasted”--ya think?--insisted on “lunging” through the crowd to escape the venue.
A drenched onlooker said, “Shia had to climb over people and tear himself out of he grasp of various strangers who were trying to keep him from going crazy. It was totally mad. They had a verbal spat and the next thing you know Shia went for him. He was a bit tipsy and Marilyn was having none of it and towered over him. Security jumped in and Shia left the party quickly. It was all very weird.”
Perhaps LaBeouf ought to "transform" himself--Get it? He starred in those Transformer movies so I said transf....okay, I'll stop--into a non-drinker.

I think I'll call this The Battle Of The Bobble Heads.
The adulterous country crooner LeAnn Rimes and annoying E host Giuliana Rancic are locked in a battle of dimwits over remarks made to and about one another, on TV and on Twitter.

It seems that Rancic--who has ALLEGEDLY had some very well documented body image issues and eating disorders--recently told the Huffington Post that LeAnn Rimes was a little too bony: "She lost a lot of weight from all the stress in her life. She seems a little thin right now and I think she looks great when she’s a bit curvier.” Rancic suggested LeAnn get some meat on her frame.
Hey, i thought Eddie Cibrian was the meat on her frame!
Anyway, Rancid, er, Rancic, should know better than to criticize a thin girl when she wept and moaned about people talking about her skeletal body. And Rimes wasn't having it either. She picked up a phone and called Rancic....Oh.....She didn't call? Nope, as with all feuds, Rimes took to the Twitter to tell Giuliana Rancic that she does so eat and that they should share a meal together so she could prove it.
And, to be fair, by meal, she meant grape.
Rimes wrote, “@GiulianaRancic hey, we should go to dinner sometime. You get criticized all the time for how small you are. You can see just HOW much I eat and maybe put a stop to this crazy ‘shrinking’ once and for all...Then we should workout together! Good luck with your restaurant!!!!”
Then, one of Rimes followers--Giuliana Rancic in disguise, I imagine--asked LeAnn to clarify her comments, and Rimes softened a little--well, as much as a bag of bones can soften--and replied: “I just don’t appreciate her comments, so I really would love for her to hang with me, see who I am...I am a person you know.”
Well, maybe just half-a-person, really.
But you stick Rimes and Rancic together you might get a whole person.

What to do when your hit show ends it's run?
Well, if you are former "Lost" actor Matthew Fox, you get yourself arrested for ALLEGEDLY punching the female bus driver of a party bus.

It seems that upon leaving a Cleveland bar last weekend, and heading back to his hotel, Fox tried to board a party bus. When the driver, one Heather Bormann, refused to allow him access, Fox ALLEGEDLY began hitting Bormann in the chest and stomach.
But not to be outdone, and not afraid of some TV star, Heather Bormann reciprocated, landing several blows to Matthew Fox's face--breaking her hand in the process.
People! How many time must I tell you to NEVER mess with a Cleveland party bus driver? Especially if that driver is Heather Bormann. If I've said it once, I've said it enough.
Following his arrest, Fox was released into the custody of a friend. Heather Bormann, on the other hand, visited a hospital, and then told reporters, "This was my self-defense. This was the only way I could protect myself ... from a man beating up on a woman."
Bormann has yet to press charges against Fox.
Sidenote: Had I been on that party bus last weekend and a drunk Matthew Fox tried to get on board, i would have skooched over in my seat and said, "Here honey, sit next to me."
It's a fact, every straight man is a six-pack of beer--or less--away from being gay.
Just sayin'.

So, a month or so ago Jennifer Lopez was spotted out and about without her lapdog, Marc Anthony, and without her wedding ring as well. And then the couple announced they were getting divorced. Rumors swirled that Marc was too controlling or that JLo couldn't keep it in her pants--or maybe that's out of her pants--though the ex-couple denies both allegations.
Then, just last week rumors swirled that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett were quietly separating, and headed for divorce as well.

How do these two things mesh? Well, ALLEGEDLY Will “caught” Jada doing the dirty with Marc Anthony--who costars with Pinkett on something called 'HawthoRNe'--while Marc was still married to Lopez.
To be fair, Will and Jada are denying the report, telling the world that their marriage is still “intact” and there is speculation that Mr. and Mrs. Smith will sue. But apparently Life & Style isn’t afraid of the Smiths because they’ve got another story about Jada and Marc getting “close”.
An insider--and by insider I mean a gopher on the set of something called 'HawthoRNe'--says: “[Marc] and Jada got extremely close on the set...He said Jada was so sexy because she was in great shape and had this tough attitude, which he loves. And she loved his style — his acting, his mojo. She even brought Marc back as a series regular and made him the show’s music producer. Jennifer couldn’t have liked that.”
Hence the dumping, I guess.
But what about Will and Jada, and her ALLEGEDLY romping with Marc? Well, the Smiths seem to have a relatively open marriage, even by their own statements, so maybe Jada and Marc doing the nasty is just all part of a normal day for the Smiths.
But, and this is where it gets interesting, just this week Jada Pinkett was spotted out without Will or her wedding ring.
Coincidence?
Ask JLo and Marc.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

There are all kinds of rumors about why the Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony marriage went down in a burst of flames.
Some say she wanted to get back with Diddy.
Some say he was a control freak.
Some say she was hooking up with a male model.
Some say she was getting back together with Ben Affleck.

But, maybe, the reason for the sudden end to what looked like the happiest marriage ever--I kid because it's JLo we're talking about and none of her relationships last--is Scientology.
It seems JLo has been Scientology adjacent for a few years now, palling around with the likes of Mr. Scientology and his Robot Wife, Tommy Grrrl Cruise and Katie Holmes.

And then came the announcement in a  recent interview that JLo ‘wouldn’t mind’ having her twins educated by the Church of Scientology, adding: ‘I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.’
Hard not to judge when they keep their practices so private. Jen.
A source close to JLo--and by source, I mean Tom Cruise, because the girl loves to gossip--says, "Jennifer and Marc couldn’t see eye-to-eye on the subject. She’s always been more into the church than him. He wasn’t a huge fan and it caused problems."
Problems like, oh, I don't know, how the church ALLEGEDLY asks its members to distance themselves from non-members, even if the non-member is your spouse and the father of your children.
And, please to remember, the Church of Scientology has always been touted to celebrities as more of a career-booster first, and a religious belief second, so it's no wonder JLo, who's career was in the toilet for a number of years, would want to join up and save her precious job as opposed to saving her marriage. I mean, she can always have another right? She's straight and they can run through marriages like topilet paper.
And while she is the newest jewel in the Scientology crown, joining other luminaries as strictly hetero John Travolta and Tom Cruise, Scientology is also home to big names like Danny Masterson,  Lisa Marie Presley and JLo’s close friend Leah Remini. I know. Who?
So, it wasn't other men, although I'm sure there were other men, and it wasn't control, although I'm sure Marc's a control freak. It was all about JLo and her need for fame and money.
Color me surprised. 

Looks like trouble on the set of 'The Talk'--CBS' 'The View' knock-off.

Apparently, Julie Chen’s “queen bee attitude” is forcing the ladies of 'The Talk' to flee the gab-fest after just one season. We've already heard that Sharon Osbourne will be taking time away from the show to focus on her family; funny, but Osbourne hasn't given up her other show, 'America's Got Talent' for her family, so this excuse don't fly.
But now comes word that has-been sitcom star, and JLo galpal Leah Remini plans to quit also, and that co-host Holly Robinson Peete announced last week said she will not return for Season 2.
The last straw for Osbourne and Remini was Chen’s order, passed down from her husband,m who just happens to be president of CBS, Les Moonves, that the women were not allowed to discuss the Casey Anthony case without Julie Chen at the table because she’s the only host with journalistic credentials.
You know, hosting 'Big Brother' is a ginormous journalistic endeavor.
A source--and by source, I mean JLo, who cannot keep her name out of the press--says, "[Julie] said, ‘My husband feels strongly that you should not be talking about news [without me], you are not news people.’”
And Sharon Osbourne said, 'Bollocks!' Or maybe it was 'Loo'. Or 'Bangers and mash.' I dunno; I just know it was British and she wasn't amused.
But Chen has her own supporters, who are feeding their version of what happened, and they--and by 'they,' I mean CBS President, and Julie Chen's baby-daddy, Les Moonves--say, "[Julie is] the glue that holds the show together.” 'They' lay the blame on Leah Remini, saying, “[She] was a disruptive force. She had a huge morale problem.”
'They' also say that part of the problem is Remini's mother, who came to the show nearly everyday, and refused to follow studio rules: “Her mother never parked in her assigned space. She was told not to park in the lot anymore. ”
Call out the guards! Remini's mom is in Julie's space again!
In addition to Osbourne, Remini, and Robinson-Peete's exits, are the departures of two of the show's executive producers. Still, co-host, and creator of the show, Sara Gilbert is slated to return.
'The Talk' with Julie Chen and Sara Gilbert.
I see a lot of dead air on that show.

Sound the alarms! Lohan may have a new job!

It seems that website, Cheaterville.com, has extended an offer to Lindsay Lohan to endorse their anti-cheating website in the hopes that it will improve her image.
Seriously. Cheaterville.com's slogan is “Fight Infidelity: Post a Known Cheater Now!”  and is the go-to site to blacklist all cheaters and promote fidelity in relationships.
And they want serial criminal, drug addict and alcoholic Lindsay Lohan to be the face of fidelity?
Well, she hasn't broken up any one's marriage that we know of....so far.
The company approached Lohan in the hopes that it might clean up her bad girl image by having her rat out cheaters and stuff. And the fact is that Lindsay does not have a rep as a “cheater,” but more of a "party girl," "kidnapper," "rehab addict" and "jewel thief".
So let's get Lohan to endorse not cheating, m'kay? See, Lindsay does have some experience with cheating, though not as the cheater but as the cheatee. Cheatee?
Back in '10--does that not sound weird?--Lindsay was the victim of infidelity when, she ALLEGES, her then-girlfriend Samantha Ronson cheated on her. Lindsay was so emotionally devastated that she went on a crime spree, or maybe she just Tweeted her pain: “Being cheated on does wonders to you. I’m doing this publicly because u & ur friends call People. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you.”
So, who better than to endorse Cheaterville.com than a victim of the cheat herself?
Plus, she will ALLEGEDLY be paid some $25,000 for the endorsement, which will buy her a lot of shoes, but not be enough money to pay for her court-ordered therapy.

Shoes? mental health/ Shoes? Rehab? Shoes? Jail times?
Shoes win.

Professional wrestlers always seemed slightly homophobic to me, even though they get paid big bucks to wrestle other men in their skintight skivvies, and they preen and prance like drag queens before each match.

So this little tidbit about some of that homer-sex-tickle behavior goin' on between wrestlers just might be a little bit "woman scorned."

But the former Missus Hulk Hogan, Linda, was making the rounds trying to promote a book someone wrote for her, and she ended up on the Matty P radio show, where a caller asked about the rumor of the Hulkster carrying on an, um, well, intimate relationship with the homoerotically named Brutus Beefcake.

Linda Hogan: "Wow, I don’t know how to answer this, so I don’t end up getting a lawsuit, [but a] little bird told me, ‘Yes they think they did.’”

Well, very interesting. Or is it just Linda trying to slander her ex-husband's name for a few extra books sold.
Still.....Brutus Beefcake?

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

So it was just a few short weeks ago that we learned that the father of supermodel Linda Evangelista's four-year-old son, Augustin, was Francois-Henri Pinault, who is also the father of his wife, Salma Hayek's four-year-old daughter, Valentina.

The story everyone is sticking to is that the day or so after Francois-Henri knocked up Salma, the two decided to "take a break" and to Francois-Henri, that meant heading over to Linda's place and knocking her up, too. Now Linda wants child support for her baby boy, and is suing Pinault for payments of $46,000.00 a month.
I mean, come on, being the child of a supermodel requires big dough. Couture rompers and designer shoes for the boy could be very expensive, In fact, according to those in the know, it "would probably be the largest support order in the history of the Family Court.”
No kidding.
But when you consider Evangelista once uttered the line, I "don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day" well, then $46,000 for a month is chicken feed.
Pinault has yet to pay one penny in child support for Augustin, though for his daughter, Valentina, he spends $50,000 a month on a $12 million LA estate he keeps in trust for the little girl. And Evangelista wants her little boy to have a mansion just like his half-sister.
The majority of the monthly sum Evangelista is requesting would cover the round-the-clock nannies, because she doesn't have time for all that, as well as drivers and nursemaids and cooks and governesses and people to keep the child busy while Mommy goes out.
But Pinault, whose family is worth an estimated $11.5 billion, is fighting the expenditures tooth and nail. Like the cost of Evangelista's team of armed drivers for $175,000 a year, and the $80,000 a year she needs for a nanny. [Note to self: check out nanny ads].
The judge looked at Evangelista's requests and instantly erased the part where she asked for $7,500 for monthly “vacation” expenses, but ultimately seemed sympathetic to the security and nanny costs, noting that these may simply be the normal costs for raising a child in Manhattan whose mama don't wake up for less than 10K.
“How many hours a week do you work?” the judge asked Evangelista.
“On days when I do not work, I am working on my image,” Evangelista answered. “I have to hit the gym. I have beauty appointments. I have to work toward my next job and maintaining my image, just like an athlete.”
Poor thing. Drivers. Nannies. Gyms. Hair stylists, Makeup people.
Oh the humanity.

Poor Jennifer Lopez.
First the breakup, and then the slew on interviews where she tells us all how horrible it was being married to Marc Anthony, and how she struggled to get out, and struggled to get a $20 million paycheck for judging American Idol.

Oh.The.Horror.
In the string of  “exclusive but not really” pieces, JLo's peeps run rampant with the Poor JLo speech, and paint her as an innocent victim of the cruel Marc Anthony.
Now, maybe he was cruel, and maybe he was controlling, but the last thing Jennifer Lopez ever seems to be is a victim. I mean, she snatched the cover of Vanity Fair a nanosecond after she and Marc split, except those cover stories are often months in the making. So, did poor Jen leave her horrid hubby last month, or just after the first of the year?
Poor thing.
Next up, she'll be trolling her new piece of man candy, though people are speculating that it'll be an old piece of man candy, named Diddy, or Squiddy, or some such.
Poor Jen. My husband was mean so I went out and got a cover story and a raise and a new boyfriend because it was so hard on me, being married. Again.
Ad she's telling people that she wants for full custody of Max and Emme because Marc hasn’t even seen the kids since the split! But, um, maybe Marc hasn't seen his kids since the day the split was announced--not to be confused with the day of the actual split some months ago--because they’ve been traveling with J.Lo, to New York, to Europe where she was paid a cool million to sing at a rich guy's birthday party, and then to Miami where she's filming her next big flop movie, "What To Expect When You’re Expecting."
I'm expecting it to bomb.
 
Oh Lindsay.
House arrest just ended and you're already drunk in public.
it's nice to see things haven't changed.

More than a month ago, back when Lohan was under house arrest--and partying non-stop--she tested positive for alcohol during a court-ordered drug tests. She was forced to put down the vodka, strap on he Louboutins, and head back to court. She had some 'splaining to do.
But she got sent home with no more than a slap on the wrist because the judge said she was cool with Lohan guzzling vodka by the gallon, bathing with gin, and douching with tequila, but she had to stay away from crack and prescription meds. She could drink even though she's been in and out of rehab so often that the Betty Ford clinic now has a Lindsay Lohan Revolving Door.
And now she's free, and back to partying, and mending her  broken friendship with Paris Hilton. Yes, people, Firecrotch and Cocaine Cooch are friends again.
And after a three-day-drink-a-thon at Paris' house, Lohan appeared drunk and stumbling, or stumbling and drunk, outside the Chateau Marmont. Spies, and by spies, I mean Paris, who isn't really any one's friend, unless you have coke to stuff in her snatch, say Lohan was back in vintage form at the celebrity hangout. Lohan ALLEGEDLY “looked wobbly, and on her way back to her table outside stumbled over again. The next time she got up, hotel security had to give her a hand.”
Naturally, Lohan’s rep, AKA MomWhore Dina, said, "As usual, a pack of lies from people with nothing better to do with their lives than make up stories about a famous person.”
Honey, they aren't making up stories about a famous person, they're making up stories about Lindsay Lohan.

And now, on to our male Lindsay Lohan, serial rehabber, Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Rumors swirled at the beginning of summer that alcohol abuser Meyers was almost suicidal, between the drugs and the booze. It was back in June when police and paramedics were called to Meyer’s London home because, according to various sources, he had overdosed on pills.

But he was conscious when help arrived, and tried to refuse help, but was ultimately taken to a hospital where he ALLEGEDLY had his stomach pumped, and then was released. Some called it a “suicide attempt” but others say it was just another weekend for Meyers.
Now, however, comes new video of Meyers, wasted, and singing Bob Marley tunes in a pub. It seems that Meyers met a group of new friends, read: strangers, at the pub, where they all got  hammered, and then he took the party to a private home, where someone videotaped Meyers drinking cans of cider and trying to sing “No Woman No Cry”.
This just weeks after the ALLEGED suicide attempt.
This is not good. He's on the Lindsay Lohan Plan, having been in and out of rehab FIVE times.
Sad to say, but I envision a scene like the one in Valley of the Dolls, when Neely O'Hara meets former movie idol, Tony Polar, at a sanitarium. Only this time, the scene is real, and it's Meyers and Lohan.

I'm not a fan of Miss Justin Timberlake. i think she's fond enough of herself for the both of us. And stories like this don't make me think of any more highly, though definitely more lowly, of the diva.

During a recent night out at The Boom Boom Room, a source--and by source I mean Britney Spears who was sitting under a table in the corner chewing her hair--said, “He was really in a terrible mood. He was awful to the staff, making unreasonable demands and acting like a total prince.”
Princess.
And you'd have thought he would have been a total angel, given that the party was the premiere of his new smash hit....i kid.....movie, Friends With Benefits. However, the singer/actor/dancer/clothing designer/serial SNL host/asshat was in a rotten mood and complained about everything.
The champagne was flat. So was the second glass. Even after the waitress opened a brand new bottle in front of Miss Thang, she was not happy. In fact, he loudly announced that he would lower himself to drinking the champagne because he was “sick of dealing" with the waitress.
Understandably, everyone, from the bar staff, to his friends, and even his mama, was relieved when Miss T left the party, though many heard Miss Justin warning his driver that if he wasn’t parked right outside the front door, he would “lose his s***!”
Oh, honey, you've already lost it.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Lady Gaga gets accused of a lot of things. She been accused to using the LGBT community, and our struggles, to sell records. She's been accused of being too controversial to sell records. She's been accused of stealing Madonna's career, as well as some of Madonna's music.
Now, she's got The Divine Miss M, Bette Midler, on her tail. Her fish tail, that is.
Apparently, on the Sydney leg of her Australian tour, Gaga caused more controversy by rolling onto the stage in a wheelchair, dressed as a mermaid.
Naturally, differently-abled activists were upset by Gaga's antics, and demanded an apology; and they are ALLEGEDLY behind the egg-throwing attack on Gaga as she left a gay bar over the weekend.
But Bette Midler has a different fish bone to pick. She took to Twitter to remind Lady Gaga that she, yes, Bette Midler, originated the Mermaid wheelchair bit over three decades ago: "I’m not sure @ladygaga knows that I’ve performed my mermaid in a wheelchair for millions of people--and many of them are still alive...."Dear @ladygaga if you think a mermaid in a wheelchair seems familiar--it's because it is! You can see it on youtube 24/7-with ME performing it"

She also remarked, "I've been doing singing mermaid in a wheelchair since 1980-You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker tits - mermaid's mine."
Don't piss off a diva, Gaga. Bette Midler created the character of Dolores del Lago, a wheelchair-bound mermaid, years ago.
Years.Ago.
Gaga, who was born in 1986, claims she had no idea: "I had no idea she did that and I'm a huge Bette Midler fan. Maybe we're just cut from the same cloth. I couldn't hop around in that tail so I just stuck myself in a wheelchair."
Oh, Gaga, how, HOW, can you claim to be a huge Midler fan and not know about Dolores del Lago?
Something smells fishy......and I think it's Gaga,


When Lindsay Lohan isn't in court, she's doing a photoshoot. And when she sin't doing a photshoot, she's doing interviews, talking about her desire to get her career back. or making up cray-zay stories.
Because her film career, such as it was, is not exactly laser hot these days.

Lohan ALLEGEDLY feels that she deserved to portray a deranged ballerina in "Black Swan," the dark Darren Aronofsky drama for which Natalie Portman won her first Oscar. 
We all know that all Lohan wants out of life is an Oscar...and by Oscar, i don't mean the guy on La Cienega who deals in illegal prescription meds.
Lohan ALLEGEDLY angered Plum Miami writer, Jacquelynn Powers, who says Lohan tells anyone and everyone that she "took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie 'Black Swan.'"
Of course, Powers also writes that Lohan is addicted to other things besides prescription meds and alcohol; namely drama. Powers says Lohan was "constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister ... or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels."
Why is Powers pissy about Lohan? 
Well, Linsanity was being photographed for some cheeseball magazine, I mean, Plum Miami, and promised an interview with Powers, but then she flaked. Apparently, she was asked to get back in front of the camera, a movie camera, and scurried off as fast as her little rat legs could carry her.
Of course, it's not a feature film, or a direct-to-video release, or even a Lifetime movie. No, Lindsay's return to the screen will be in a music video playing herself, for the Florida based band, The Miggs. 
Her "people"--and by people, I mean her fame-addicted stage monster, Dina, are saying Lindsay took the part in the video because she wants to ease back into making films.
Which is Dina-speak for "No one wants to hire my mentally ill, alcohol addicted, drug taking jewel thief of a daughter and put her in a multi-million dollar movie and watch her walk off, er, drunkenly stumble off, with the wardrobe in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.
Still, Lindsay Lohan in the Black Swan.
It's funny, cuz it's insane.


Poor Chris Brown.
He beats women. He gets mad when asked about beating women and he throws furniture.
He ALLEGEDLY tosses about homophobic slurs on the basketball court.

Now, he is ALLEGEDLY at war with his fellow West Hollywood condo owners, who claim the singer is the "neighbor from hell." they say he parks in the in handicapped spaces, he blasts his music, his music, at all hours, and races his dogs in the hallways.
In fact, pictures of Chris Brown's cars, clearly parked illegally have surfaced, and even the building manager is speaking up about the Bad Little Girlfriend Beater's antics.
Of course, Chris' lawyer, media shark Mark Geragos, says Chris is the one getting screwed, as the deed clearly shows the two spaces belong to Chris. And he says the developer never disclosed that they were handicapped spots.
Um, Chris, you dickhead? That little sign, above the spaces, and probably pained ON the spaces, of the wheelchair, means they are handicapped spaces. I think even a dickhead like you can understand that, once you pull your giant head out of your ass.
Chris has only lived in the building a few months and already everyone feels lie Rihanna.


Hmmm, why oh why did they split? Those two cray-zay kids seemed to have it all.

But, as soon as Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced they were separating, came rumors that she was having an affair with hot Latino hunk, William Levy, who starred as JLo's lover in her video for “I’m Into You”.
Levy conveniently divorced his wife right after the shoot, but is denying any affair with Lopez. Which may be true, as Levy has other things on his plate: namely charges that he raped a young girl and gave her a venereal disease.
He is being sued for that, and court documents state that on July 19, 2010: “Through deception and trickery Levy, with the aid of several members of his entourage, lured Plaintiff back to the Hilton Hotel in Glendale. Plaintiff, who was infatuated with Levy--a rising star of international renown for his work on Spanish language telenovelas--wanted his autograph. During the course of their conversation at a Hilton restaurant, Levy invited Plaintiff to a private room for discussion. Defendant then maneuvered himself so that Plaintiff could not walk in any direction without passing Defendant.”
The complaint goes on to state that Levy “forced Plaintiff to perform [sex act] on him, strangling her in the process. He ejaculated in her mouth, on her person, through which he transmitted a sexual disease to plaintiff. Plaintiff was subsequently taken to urgent care at Concentra Medical Center by a friend.”
Wow......wow.
Um, I hate to think that this is true, I mean, the JLo part of it is all rumor. And the last thing she needs is a venereal disease. Again.
ALLEGEDLY.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

It looked for about a second there that Charlie Sheen might actually be "winning". But then one of his Goddess moved out of the Sober Valley Lodge--which was subsequently put on the market--and just last week Goddess Two, who had become Goddess One since One could not complete her reign, also left the building.

And then came word that Sheen would be returning to television.
The former "Two and a Half Men" star, who was booted from the show after several drug and porn start fueled rampages and tirades,  has ALLEGEDLY signed a deal with Lionsgate Television to create a new show to air on a cable network; a couple of those cable guys are ALLEGEDLY bidding on the show.
A source--and by source I mean any one of the wacknuts still sponging off the soon-to-be-broke ex-TV star--says, "Charlie has inked a deal with Lionsgate Television to create and star in a new sitcom. Charlie's character will be very similar to the one he played on 'Two And a Half Men,' however the show will be a lot racier."
Oh, so he's stealing the idea? Winning?
Rumor has it that Lionsgate has agreed to produce ten episodes, with a look to option 90 more if ratings are high. This could be good for Charlie, y'all, and the drug and porn star escort business, both of which have taken quite the monetary hit since he's been out of work.
Sounds good except......now there are reports that it doesn't appear that a deal has been signed yet between Sheen and Lionsgate, and that TBS, one of the networks mentioned to be in talks to carry the program, have denied any involvement.
Sounds like more Sheen bullshiz.


They met, fell in love, had a baby, broke up, fought over custody, ended their battles for the sake of their child, and then......

The custody fight between Halle Berry and ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubrey over daughter Nahla is ALLEGEDLY still going strong, since Berry made an appearance in family court this week and accused Aubrey of violating an April custody agreement.

Laura Wasser, Berry's attorney, submitted lengthy documentation focusing on Aubrey's parenting skills, which accuse the male model of neglecting his daughter during an overseas visit and putting her safety at risk. Now, Halle wants the judge to rule that Aubrey did violate the agreement and deny him custody of the girl.

The judge set a hearing for a later date.
You know, they've been having this battle for half-a-year now, and every time it hits the press they settle down and say they'll work together to parent their child. And then, as the dust settles, they're back in court with the same arguments.

Maybe little Nahla would be better off without such litigious parents.


JLo's ego has gotten bigger than her ass, ALLEGEDLY.

It seems that Miss Lopez, who thinks she's all that, and a bag of chips, on American idol, recently admitted to the BBC that she's "on the fence" about returning to the long-running talent show. And some, like me, are saying she's spewing this crap because she's holding out for a bigger paycheck, rather than being grateful that after years of god-awful movies and music, she actually had a hit song this year.

Thanks to Idol.

But the folks over at Idol aren't worried about JLo returning, or her demands for a paycheck as grand as her derriere. No, Idol is ALLEGEDLY already looking at possible replacements should JLo start being a  money-grubbing whore.

I giggle. Start being a money grubbing whore?

A source at Idol--and by source, I mean none other than Miss Ryan Seacrest--says, "Right now the star of 'American Idol' is Steven Tyler. Everyone thought after Simon announced he was leaving that [Lopez] would fill the void. How wrong were they? It's all about Steven, who's already signed on for season 11."

La Dopez, er, Lopez, might want to rethink asking for a pay raise from her current $12 million a year salary.
She has a big ass and she's acting like one, too.


Courtney Love, AKA Lindsay Lohan's older twin, has had a bit of a rough week....and perhaps year....and maybe lifetime.

Just a day after Courtney Love split from her British boyfriend, the A-Hole singer has found herself amidst a rather bizarre episode of grand theft auto involving photographer David LaChapelle and director Brett Ratner.
According to that bastion of integrity and professional journalism, the New York Post, Love was at the exclusive SoHo House in New York when she offered to pick up Ratner and take him to LaChapelle's exhibition at Lever House.

That, however, did not happen.

ALLEGEDLY Love took the car and did not return at all, which left LaChapelle quite worried about his ride. In fact, a source at the SoHo House--and by source I mean bellhop--says, "Courtney did take his car. David was flipping out and going crazy at the front desk that Courtney stole his car."

Hold up though. Now Brett But Ratner has come forward saying that Courtney and David are still BFFs, and that Love was supposed to drive him in LaChapelle's car but he was too tired to go, so she took the ride solo.
Uh huh.
I'm leaning toward Love pulling a Lohan-type car theft, and no one, not even LaChapelle, wants to admit he allowed Courtny Love...COURTNEY LOVE....drive his car.


As of this past Wednesday, Lindsay Lohan is a free woman. Again.

But for how long? I think we should start a pool on when Lohan

But I digress.

So, how did La Lohan celebrate her first taste of freedom after a month or so of house arrest. By going out! And, from the looks of her first night on the town, Lohan should think about staying home a little longer. Like a Norma-Desmond-long-time.
That photo, over there, was taken this week, just a few days shy of Lohan's 25th birthday.
Yes, folks, that's what twenty-five looks like these days, after stealing cars and jewels, and getting into fights, and falling down drunk, and being a prescription medicine and alcohol addict.
She should be the poster child: this is your face on drugs!
Lock up your cars and jewels, people, and put a latch on the medicine cabinet.
Lohan's back!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

I admit it, I'm a fan of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Mostly because of Brit diva Lisa Vanderpump, but still.....

And I jumped on the I Hate Camille Grammer bandwagon because she seemed like such a snobby self-entitled, former porn star who married a rich TV guy, had someone bear him two children and then found herself being traded in for a younger version. Yeah, lots of reasons to dislike Camille, including her demands for spousal support and child support that were beyond extraordinary.
But now I'm feeling a little less I Hate Camille Grammer, and a little more I Hate Kelsey Grammer, mostly because of his recent child custody request.
See, it seems Kelsey, who lives in Chicago with the fourth, but not last, Missus Grammer, filed a motion asking for full custody of his two children. He offered Camille the chance to have them half of each summer, and half of their school breaks., The details on who would get custody of the four nannies that care for the two wee Grammers was not released.
Camille fired back, asking for sole custody herself, saying the kids have always lived in California, have friends, family, nannies, sitters, bodyguards, cooks and chauffeurs in California, and the trauma of moving to Chi-town might be too much. And then, she released a letter from Kelsey that made him seem more of the asshat than she.
In the letter, written just last month, and sent from Kelsey's team of lawyers to Camille's gaggle of attorneys,  he actually offered to solve the problem by taking just one of the children.
Seriously.
Kesley wants his son to live with him full time and his daughter, what's-her-name, to stay in Malibu with Camille. Note to Kelsey: these are children, not cars. You can't say I'll take that one and you can have the other. I never thought Camille would come out looking like the decent parent in this, but, yes, I was wrong.

We haven't heard much from the OctoMom lately......Thank God....but suddenly she's back in the news, again, for falling behind on mortgage payments. Again! 

And is she pounding the pavement looking for a job, or two, to dig herself out of the situation she created for herself by having something like twenty children as a single mom?
Heavens no!
OctoMom AKA Nadya Suleman AKA Giant Asshatted Media Whore will be holding a......wait for it.....it's good........it's coming........a bikini car wash to raise money to save her house. And she's enlisted the aid of one of Charlie Sheen's many hooker-porn star girlfriends to help.
Yes, Capri Anderson, Miss I am Not A Hooker, I'm A Porn Star, will be washing cars with Octo, alongside reality whore Tia Tequila, Reggie Bush's former mistress January Gessert and Mel Gibson's ALLEGED next baby mama, Violet Kowal.
Whores washing cars!
Octo will hold her car wash on June 18, and, if such things tickle your interests, it will cost you $20 bucks for the wash, or $30 if you have an SUV.
Kisses and blow jobs are, of course, extra.

Looks like JLo is a little behind the times.

An LA judge has just ruled that one of JLo's ex-husbands, or ex-boyfriends, Ojani Noa, will be allowed to release home video of the singer shot while they were married. Yes. A JLo sex tape. Call it Booty On Fire or Jenny On My Cock or Open My Fly, Girl.
Okay, I'll stop.
And the bidding war has begun between porn companies hoping to purchase and distribute the, um, intimate home video. Noa's business manager, Ed Meyer, says bids were starting "in the hundreds of thousands," and the final price was expected to be in the millions.
Seriously, to watch JLo bang a guy from the 1990s, unless, it's, um, that guy?
But Meyer says, "I've gotten emails from Pornhub, YouPorn, Pulse Distribution, Red Light District and Kevin Blatt, who brokered Paris Hilton's sex tape. If an offer looks good, we'll definitely take it."

JLo is said to be distraught, or at least feign being distraught, because she'd long assumed that her ex wouldn't be able to release their sex tape because he'd signed a confidentiality agreement which would ban him from making such private material public.
Sidenote: nothing says love like a signed confidentiality agreement.
But Noa, making an end run around JLo's expansive end, recently sold the video to his current girlfriend, who is working with a distributor to release the film, and that LA judge says this plan is perfectly legal.
So, will you see JBlo? What about Made In Manhattan? The Back Door Plan?
Okay, I'll seriously stop.

Poor Whitney.
On the heels of dreadful, off-key, out-of-sorts, and, oftentimes, canceled live performances, and in addition to her recent re-admittance to a rehab program for drug abuse, Whitney Houston now ALLEGEDLY has a much more serious battle on her hands.

According to the National Enquirer--Yes, I know, but they did break the John Edwards story--doctors informed the singer that she is suffering from early stages of emphysema, which might be a reason of her recent spate of less than stellar performances.
According to a friend--and by friend, I mean the awful person who would say such things to the Enquirer--"She's developed emphysema--and her doctors are warning her she'll die a horrible death."
According to the "story", doctors have told Houston that if she does not completely kick her smoking habit, the disease will take her life. And the task of weening her off the cigarettes has fallen on the shoulders of Whitney's recently released from rehab for her own addiction problems, daughter, Bobbi Kristina.
But Whitney's people are fighting back. Her rep, Kristen Foster, is now calling the story "completely untrue."
Hopefully the story isn't true, but I wonder. How many times have Whitney's people said she doesn't have a drug problem, and then she goes into rehab for it? I hope this doesn't turn out like that.

Comedy is fun, unless you're a comic that steals jokes.
Or, unless you're Jay Leno, a comic accused of stealing jokes. Again.

It seems that just last week Leno told a joke that was eerily similar to a joke told two days earlier by Andy Levy on 'Red Eye,' an overnight show on the Fox News channel.
You be the judge:
From 'The Tonight Show' on May 26:
Leno: Bad news for the state of California. The Supreme Court will force the state to release something like 46,000 convicts because of prison overcrowding. But the good news – it looks like the Oakland Raiders will have more season ticket holders. Yeah, so the stadium will be packed.
From the 'Red Eye' on May 24:
Levy: Supreme Court orders tens of thousands of California prisoners released. This actually might help the Raiders start selling out their home games again.
'Red Eye' host Greg Gutfeld and Andy Levy actually then joked about Leno's theft of humor this past weekend, when Gutfeld said: "Wow Andy, I can't believe you traveled to the future, stole that joke from Jay, then traveled back to tell it on 'Red Eye.'"
Andy Levy then joked, "Look, what's the point of having a time machine if you're not going to travel to the future, steal jokes from Jay Leno then travel back to tell them on 'Red Eye?'"
And they do point out that Leno himself didn't actually steal the joke, but that the theft of humor falls into the laps of his writers.
Still, Jay, get your own material, and some new writers.

They tried to make her go to rehab, but she stopped for vodka on the way and the released herself after just a week. Not as catchy as Amy Winehouse's song, but true none-the-less.

After just one week of treatment for alcohol addiction, Amy Winehouse has checked herself out of rehab. He rep, Chris Goodman, says she is looking forward to touring Europe this summer and "raring to go." He also said the 27-year-old will continue her treatment at the Priory Clinic as an outpatient.
An outpatient?
On tour?
Not drinking?
Am I the only one who sees Whitney Houston in all this?
Winehouse has a well-documented history of drug and alcohol abuse, as well as self-destructive behavior, since she came on the scene big time back in Ott-Seven with her Grammy-winning 'Back to Black' album.
And she's been in out of rehab, and pubs, ever since. Getting help then getting high. Getting help again, then getting drunk.
In fact, London tabloid, The Sun, reported that a bedraggled Winehouse was seen downing a miniature bottle of vodka in London last week, on her way to checking in to rehab.An eyewitness--and by eyewitness, I mean, another drunk looking for mini Voddies--says: "She seemed out of it. She was stumbling about, slurring her words. I was shocked to see her buy vodka so early in the day, and even more shocked to see her knock it straight back."
She said No No No.
 
Well, I'm glad about this because I was worried.
Kim Kardashian is taking her mother's advice after all, and will not--I said WILL NOT--be taking her husband's name when she marries his bank account this year.
See, since there is nothing happening in the world this week, all the news agencies were gleefully reporting that Kim was taking on the surname of her fiance, basketball somebody-or-other, Kris Humphries, but an insider--and by insider, I mean Khloe, who really has nothing better to do than eat and gossip--says: "Kim will not change her last name. It's her brand, and it's her name. It wouldn’t make sense."
And, when she divorces her bank account, er, husband in less than a year she won't have to go to all that legal trouble of changing her name back to KardASSian.

I Didn't Say It......

Donald Trump, presidential not-gonna-be, pandering to his base of illiterate birthers:

"He grew up and nobody knew him. You know! When you interview people, if ever I got the nomination, if I ever decide to run, you may go back and interview people from my kindergarten. They'll remember me. Nobody ever comes forward about Obama. Nobody knows who he is until later in his life. It's very strange. The whole thing is very strange."

 

What's not strange, is that all those people who knew you in kindergarten, would probably say you were an egotistical self-involved fuck when you were six years old.

Just like today.

 

Jodie Foster, on Mel Gibson, who, before he hit his girlfriend and plead no contest, starred in a movie Foster directed:

"God, I love that man. The performance he gave in this movie, I will always be grateful for. He brought a lifetime of pain to the character that we've been talking about for years, that I knew was part of his psyche and who he is. It's part of him that is beautiful and that I want people to know, too. He's so incredibly loving and sensitive, he really is....And he's not saintly, and he's got a big mouth, and he'll do gross things your nephew would do. But I knew the minute I met him that I would love him the rest of my life. We talked about it [his relationship with Oksana Grigorieva] all the way through, about what was going on in his life....It was a bad situation. His assistant called me: 'Come to the trailer!' And I went to his trailer, and he was a mess. Then he came on set, and he didn't have any makeup on, anything. He came in and sat down on the chair and said, 'OK, roll it,' and did two takes that were just beautiful. Then he got on the plane and left."

Such a good man.
Who plead "no contest"which is akin to I'm guilty but please no put me in prison, for hitting a woman who was holding a baby, his baby.
Jodie, i used to have respect for you, but, well, not so much any more.

Cindy Jacobs, wingnut Christian, on why God devastated Japan:

"This island, Hokkaido, looks like the head of a dragon with the body being the rest of Japan. The people of Asia have worshipped the dragon for 5,000 years. If one looks at the place where the earthquake took place, it looks like the soft underbelly of most vulnerable part of the dragon. Let's pray that the deep idolatry and the worship of hundreds of idols under the guise of Shintoism, Buddhism, and allegiances to being "sons of the dragon" will be broken and thousands will turn to the Lord. My interpretation of this is that while God did not want people to perish, He is going to use this to "pierce" the darkness surrounding the Japanese people if we will cry out to God for them in the midst of this crisis ... If we respond correctly, the darkness and the grip of idolatry of all forms that has blinded the eyes of so many in Japan will be broken off of them. The faithful believers in Jesus Christ will be strengthened as they are used for great harvest across Asia and the face of the earth."

Question?
How does someone call themselves a "Christian"and then spout such idiocy and hatred for an entire country?
Cindy Jacobs is the definitive right-wingnut- religious-zealot, morally subversive, uptight bitch.

"Pastor" Chuck Pierce, on what he ALLEGES what God about Japan's evil "spiritism":

"There will be a shaking coming to Japan that will bring them to their knees. This shaking will change the industry of the nation. Japan has been built upon a fault line linked with a deep wounding from the past. This shaking will occur before the apostolic team that I am sending to Japan arrives. When they arrive, I will begin the healing of the fault line and release a new anointing for industries. I am sending you to the people group of that area and they will be humbled in the midst of their pride. Do not fear. I am causing the mountain to be brought down and the valleys to be brought up. I will create a leveling effect in Japan."

Hmmm, so "God" told you six years ago that he would send a shaking on Japan, and you said nothing?
Is there a chance that this fool could be imprisoned fro aiding and abetting murder and destruction? I mean, he knew this would happen and yet he said nothing about it. But I guess that "his" god loves to send messages of death and destruction to people He knows won't do anything to help.

Anti-gay, and governor wannabe and also-ran, Bob Vander Plaats, at an anti-marriage equality rally at the Iowa Capitol today:

"So let me suggest that the clue phone is ringing in the state of Iowa, and collectively we need to answer the phone and get a clue. You see if this opinion has never been codified into law, and if this opinion has never been executed by Culver or by Branstad, the question is this: what are we doing marrying couples of the same gender in the state of Iowa when it does not reflect the law of the land?"

The "clue phone"?
Here's a clue, wingnut: you will never be elected governor of Iowa, or any other state because you are a hateful bigot.
As for the "law of the land" in Iowa, did you read your own state Constitution where it talks bout everyone being equal?
Guess you missed that part because you were too bust spouting hate.

 Jennifer Lopez, on coming out, being out, and Ricky Martin:

"It’s OK to be out. I do think it is. I do think it’s acceptable for people to be who they are. I am a huge advocate of that. In that sense, that’s the only way we can truly love ourselves, it’s by accepting who we are and letting everybody know who we are. So, I’m very proud – you know – I’m friends with Ricky [Martin] and I’m very proud of him and support him in everything he does. And all these people who have been... who want to step forward and tell the world who they are… I think that’s awesome."

I'll be playing the role of cynic:

This is all well and good Jello, er, but where was your pro-gay speech when Ricky Martin came out? Where was your huge ass, er, advocacy then?

It seems you only speak as a Friend Of The Gays now that you have a new TV show and album to promote.

That's right.

First-term GOP Congressman, and kind-of-hottie, Michael Grimm, on what the GOP needs to do:

"The extreme wing of the Republican Party is making a big mistake with their flat-out opposition to a short-term continuing resolution. I know that there is some opposition to working with Senate Democrats from the extreme right of the Tea Party who would rather see a government shutdown than pass a short-term solution; however, as long as we continue to cut spending each time, we are keeping our promise to the American people to reduce the deficit and fix the economy."

What's this?

Someone in the GOP with the good sense god gave a goat?

Someone in the GOP who understands that divisiveness won't get us anywhere?

Mr. Grimm, are you sure you're a Republican?

Manhattan Declaration author Chuck Colson, on Lady Gaga and "Born This Way": 

"Do people choose to be gay, or are they born that way? Here’s a tip: Don’t turn to Lady Gaga for an answer. For the Christian, thinking in terms of dichotomies such as 'nature versus nurture' and 'genetics versus free will' is the real problem. For us, it’s not either-or. Who we are cannot be reduced to any one thing. For instance, Christianity teaches that biology and the rest of creation has a great deal to teach us about how we should live. This is part of what we mean by “natural law. But saying that biology is somehow normative is not the same thing as saying that is determinative. We are free to choose how we behave, both for good and for ill. We are not 'slaves to our biology' unless we choose to make ourselves so by believing it to be the case. To say we are is beneath our dignity as humans made in the image of God, not to mention a denial of the power of God to transform us."

Wow, between saying God is trying to destroy Japan because they, I dunno, worship dragons or something, a lot of these religious wingnuts are still going after Gaga because she wrote a song about being "born this way."

Something psychiatrists and psychologists have been saying for years.

But people like Colson won't get that; for them it's easier to discriminate and hate, than understand and accept.

Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services, on Equal Employment Opportunity [EEO]: 

"I am equally committed to the full and meaningful implementation of Equal Employment Opportunity policies for all HHS employees and applicants. My goal is to create an environment within HHS, free of discrimination, where all employees may work without fear of reprisal or discriminatory harassment; where qualified employees and applicants with disabilities receive reasonable accommodations; and where all employees are recognized for their individual performance and contributions to HHS, without regard to race, national origin, color, age, religion, sex (including pregnancy and gender identity), sexual orientation, disability (physical or mental), status as a parent, genetic information, or other non-merit factor. I fully expect all employees and supervisors to adopt these goals. With your support and participation, we can ensure workforce diversity and equal opportunity are two of our greatest strengths."

Now, Ms. Sebelius, get that done, then decide to run for president. you have the sensibilities and the understanding of what is right and moral for all people.

Herman Cain, on our first Black president:

"Now people are over this first black President thing. But there are some people who will say, 'I'm not going to vote for another black guy because this one didn't work out. And my response is, 'Well, what about those 43 white guys you put in there? How did they work out? Don't condemn me because the first black one was bad."

You know, during the last presidential election, I supported Hilary Clinton, and then after the convention I supported Obama.

And when people asked me how and why, I mean, a woman, and a, um, black guy, I would always respond with: "Well, the white guys have been fucking up this country for the last two hundred years, let's see if a woman, or an African-American can do a better job."

No, Donnie, what's strange is that you'll do anything, say anything, to appease the minions to get a nomination.