I Ain't One to Gossip, But......

I smell desperation, and it smells an awful lot like Jennifer Love Hewitt.
See, the serial dater has discovered a new way to meet men. She scoops up rejects from The Bachelorette. Yes, indeedy; leftovers form a reality show.

It seems that at the exact moment that someone named Ben Flajnik got unrosed from The Bachelorette, one Jennifer Love Hewitt took to Twitter, to twat how she's been single since her last boyfriend dumped her and she'd love a reality show reject to come a'callin'.
She actually Tweeted: “OMG! Ben F [accept] my final rose!!! Gotta book a flight to Sonoma!!!”
And then she did.
Hewitt flew to Northern California on August 6 for a date with the 28-year-old winemaker and reality TV hasbeen. An eyewitness--and by eyewitness i mean Jennifer Love Hewitt because no one cares about Jennifer Love Hewitt but Jennifer Love Hewitt--says, “Ben from The Bachelorette is making out with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Oh yeah, Ben and Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared to be dating. All in all, Ben seemed to be perfectly content as the second-place loser on The Bachelorette.”
And then to lose again by hooking up with Hewitt.
Wow. Desperation thy name is Hewitt.
Next up, rejects from the Jersey Shore.
But then, if you don't have a career, you have all the time in the world to whore yourself out.

Wow, Kanye West knows no limits to his offensiveness, and how to market himself via his offenses,

We all remember how he milked his I Hate W period, and then rode his Taylor Swift rant for about a year. But then he kept quiet. Was he growing up? Was he deciding to let his, um, music, for lack of a better word, speak for itself?
No, is the short answer.
Onstage, at the Big Chill Festival at Eastnor castle in England he actually compared himself to Adolf Hitler, and Michael Jordan.
He's the Air Fuhrer.
See, it was while he was performing, that he began to lament the fact that he is oh so popular and well-loved and well-known, and all the hardships he endures from his massive fame, by saying, “I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m f**king insane … like I’m Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.”
But then he switched it up, and said he was a lot like Mike: “Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It’s so much f**king going on in music right now and somebody has to make a f**king difference.”
Kanye West.
Michael Jordan. And Hitler.
Jumping the shark.

It seems that no one likes Lindsay, except bartenders, drug dealers and lawyers.
Lohan was spotted leaving a Coldplay concert last week, looking especially, um, exhausted, I guess is the word, and folks are saying she was also quite upset that she tried to get backstage and was deee-nied.

Rumor has it that Coldplay--Chris Martin, Jonny Buckland, Guy Berryman, Will Champion--and their tour team, know how to handle people like Lohan, and apparently told the serial-rehabbing-criminal where she could go when she asked--and i think she begged, getting down on her knees, you know, to,.....--for the Triple A pass at the UCLA Tennis Centre.
A source--and by source, I mean the guy who holds Lohan's meds, and is the getaway driver on her jewel heists-- says, “When Lindsay was told she wasn’t allowed backstage because her pass didn’t allow it, she threw a complete wobbler. She protested to the people running the guest list, hoping they’d change their minds but it was still a firm ‘no’. She got even more angry when she found out fellow actress Kate Bosworth was there mingling with Gwyneth Paltrow and the band. In the end she got so fed up, she stormed out.”
Oh Lindsay, starring in Herbie doesn't get you backstage to breathe the same air as Paltrow. And neither do arrests and rehabs and criminal activity.

So, what should Lindsay do?
Well, some say she drove down to Venice beach to score a baggie full of white powder.
Look at the video...HERE....I'll wait.

See? Doesn't Lohan look all jittery and nervous? And that is a sandwich bag with white stuff, right?
She’s trying to pretend like she doesn’t need to buy.  She used to have people that did that for her.
But, truth be told, Lindsay and her people, went into overdrive to downplay the incident. Her publicist, Steve Honig, immediately denied the existence of baggie, or, if there was a baggie, it contained just some sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz and quartz. Honig blamed the paparazzi, saying, they "[k]nowingly and consciously making inferences about Lindsay that are completely untrue, and creating a fictitious story to get more people to visit their site. We were not given a chance to comment on this story before it went up, and no effort was made to gather the facts about what actually occurred. When I addressed this with the agency, they told me ‘we’re not the New York Times.’ They have made a horrific mistake; the worst part is, they know it but don’t care.”
Seriously. Sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz and quartz.
And a little ground up Xanax and Vicodin, with a sprinkle of cocaine?
But still, is Lindsay so stupid--and that's a rhetorical part of the question--that she would sit in a storefront and buy drugs right off the street?
Don't answer that.

I love starts and their demands.
Jennifer Lopez and her all-white rooms.
Van Halen and the No Brown M&M's.

But, back to JLo for a minute. It seems that Lopez was scheduled to appear at this year’s Billboard Music Awards when she heard that Beyonce was getting an award. Well, the JLo peeps went into overdrive, asking that JLo get an award, too. When they refused, Jennifer pulled out of her appearance.

The other Jennifer, Aniston, that is,  requests specific cheeses when she’s traveling--but no goat or blue cheese. EVER!!
But the Queen of Crazy Demands has to be wack-a-doo Paula Abdul.
Among the 49-year-old, former dancer, former lipsyncer, former Idol judge, current X Factor judge’s requests are that each one of her assistants must carry and use a tape recorder at all times “because she doesn’t trust her own conversations.”
Well, c'mon, if you were Paula Abdul, would you trust a word that comes out of your mouth?
Paula also makes them DVR and TiVo search her name and record every appearance.
She also asks that her assistants go through her email, and respond to family and friends as the star herself.
I'm not Paula Abdul, but I play her for her friends and family and collect a paycheck to boot!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Well, at least we now know they're really good actors.
All sorts of stories breaking that young and hip first-time Oscar hosts, Anne Hathaway and James Franco grew to hate one another as the show drew closer.

A source--and by source, I mean the guy that taped Hathaway's lips into a permanent smile and kept Franco in Fritos--says Anne was ready to cut a bitch, a certain stoner bitch, because of his lackadaisical performance on the show.
Franco, who, for the most part, seemed keen on just grinning like a fool while onstage, even skipped his own after party, at LA's The Writer's Room, and flew back to New York because he was so pissed off at perky, The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow, Annie.
Now, Franco's rep says the whole thing is a lie, and, miraculously enough, Anne's rep said the same thing.
But if you watched the show, you saw Anne doing all the smiling and laughing and joking, the singing and the dancing, while Franco seemed to be in search of his next bong hit.
Had the academy bothered to ask me, I'd have told them to keep away from the Cheerleader and The Stoner as hosts.
Just sayin'.

Boy, Mike Huckabee has had a busy week.
First, he implied that the president is from Kenya, and that he grew up in Kenya, which we all know--unless you're a Teabagger with one tooth and one brain cell--isn't true.

Then Huckleberry Hound intimated that the president is a Muslim, again pandering to his base of toothless and brain-dead Teabaggers.
But now he's gone too far.
Too.Far. I tell ya!
This week presidential wannabe--and that will never happen--Mike Huckabee criticized Oscar-wining actress Natalie Portman for glorifying and glamorizing out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
Y'all remember how Natalie said during her Oscar acceptance speech: "Do it girls, fuck a guy and get knocked up but don't get married. It's fun!"
Oh, wait, that didn't happen, But it didn't stop Huckleberry Hounddog Face from going on 'The Michael Medved Show' the after Portman won the Oscar, and criticize her because she's expecting her first child with fiancé Benjamin Millepied.
Huckabee said: "People see a Natalie Portman who boasts, 'We're not married but we're having these children and they're doing just fine.' I think it gives a distorted image. It's unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of-wedlock children."
Hmm, I didn't see glory and glamorization, I saw a woman in love, and glowing.
But then Huckleberry goes on to call Portman's pregnancy "troubling," saying that many single parents do not have the resources that the 29-year-old actress possessed and would not be able to afford help to look after the baby.
Um, okay Mike, you dingbat, um, where was all your holier-than-thou crap after Bristol Palin got knocked up and was trotted out on the campaign trail by her media whoring mother?
Oh, I forgot, it's perfectly fine when the GOP gets pregnant without benefit of marriage, or cheats on their wives, or gets drunk and rives, but not anybody else.
Go back to your hovel in the mountains Huckleberry. You are too out of touch to be president of anything more than the Backwoods Illiterates Club.
Just sayin'.

Lindsay Lohan has stopped getting high and stealing things that don't belong to her long enough to give an interview!
Can I get a Hallelujah up in here!

And apparently, when compared to Charlie Sheen, she comes off as lucid and normal.
Well, that's not such a stretch. The old lady who lives in the sewer drain on Broad Street in downtown Smallvile, and speaks in tongues, sounds more lucid than Charlie.
Anyway, speaking to Extra, Lindsay seemed clear-headed when talking about her career as an international drug addict and jewel thief, I mean, being a wacktress, i mean being an actress.
Lohan: "I feel great. As long as I'm focusing on the one thing that I know I need to put forth in my life, which is you know, my recovery and stuff. Then I'm doing good and that's most important for me."
The one thing she knows? How to get an array of doctors to provide her with prescription drugs so she can stop shopping in South Central? Or that one thing about how to distract a salesgirl while she slips some jewels into her bag?
Oh. Acting. I'd forgotten she was an actress.
Lohan says she also knows that it will take time to regain the trust of the film industry after her latest run-in with cops and lawyers and judges, oh my. And, it may take even longer to be trusted again, as she is in very serious danger of going to jail on felony charges from stealing that necklace.
She has until March 10 to decide if she wants to take a plea deal--which will include jail time--or go to trial--and risk being sent to jail.
Lohan: "There's gonna be a lot of steps [sidenote: I'm thinking at least Twelve Steps] that I have to go through to kind of prove myself again and get the trust from the people that I respect to work with. But I'm to do what I have to do to get there, because that's my passion."
I hope so Lindsay, because for the past few years your passion has been drugs, drink driving, arrest, rehab, arrest,jail, rehab, drunk driving, arrest, rehab, jewel theft, arrest.
Just sayin'.

I fear for Christina.
I'm hoping that she isn't on the rod to a Britney Meltdown,
I mean, there was the Star Mangled Banner mishap at the Superbowl; then she had the fall at the Grammys after opening the show. And now this.

Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend Matt Rutler were arrested this week in West Hollywood. Christina was booked on a misdemeanor charge for public intoxication, while Rutler also faces a misdemeanor charge for driving under the influence.
Reports have been swirling that Christina has been the hard party girl of the moment, and now it seems to be catching up to her.
i mean, I hope she doesn't attack a car with an umbrella and then shave off all her hair. I'm hoping she doesn't open the VMAs this year, singing from a comatose state. I'm hoping she gets better and gets back to singing.
Sidenote: Remember when  all those girl singers appeared on the scene at the same time? Britney, Christina, and Pink? Didn't you always think it'd be Pink who would be the one in trouble? Who knew Pink would turn out to be the Good Girl?
Just syainm'.

I'm guessing that, in the Cruise household, there is a list on the refrigerator of amounts to sue for when the tabloids write something unkind.
I'm thinking the list goes something like this:
Rumors of Tommy being a ginormous flaming queen....sue for $100 million.

Rumors of Katie being a ginormous drug addict....sue for $50 million.
Apparently, being a drug addict is more acceptable than being a giant 'mo.
Katie Holmes has filed a libel lawsuit seeking $50 million in damages from Star magazine after the weekly published a cover story that insinuated she is a drug addict.
Katie Holmes said, after getting permission from Tommy Grrrl to speak: "Of all the fabricated stories that continue to be published about me, this instance is beyond the pale. The publisher knew this outrageous story was false and printed it anyway to sell magazines."
The cover photo shows Holmes looking tired and upset--probably because she had to feed, bathe and clothe Suri and Tommy on the same day--with the tagline: "Addiction Nightmare: Katie Drug Shocker! The real reason she can't leave Tom."
Inside the issue, however, the article doesn't say that Katie is a drug addict, but focuses on her usage of something called an "e-meter" during Scientology sessions; e-meters, flown in directly from Xenu HQ, ALLEGEDLY reflect past emotional experiences.
Holmes says she was forced to file this lawsuit "to vindicate her reputation after American Media refused to retract its vicious lies about her....[the] claims about Katie are untrue, unethical and unlawful. Not only do they cruelly defame Katie, they play a cheap trick on the public, making ridiculously false claims on the cover unsupported by anything inside. Someone should bring a class action to get all buyers their money back."
Star is standing by their story: "We have not been served with any papers yet, however Star fully stands behind the editorial integrity of what we have published concerning Ms. Holmes' controversial use of the Scientology e-meter. The physical effect of the e-meter on its users is a matter of significant public concern, and we plan to vigorously defend the suit filed by Ms. Holmes."
Too bad no one is accusing the pair of being gay drug addicts.
I imagine that would be a $150 million lawsuit.
Just sayin'.

Joan Collins, who made her first appearance onstage for William Shakespeare, was rushed to the hospital from an Oscar after-party last weekend after she passed out.
Was it the fact that she's four-hundred-years old?

No, Collins revealed that her very tight dress was the reason she was hospitalized.
The 'Dynasty' actress, and former courtesan to Henry VIII, was ALLEGEDLY wearing a purple, figure-hugging dress by designer Georges Hobeika at Graydon Carter's Oscar viewing party and dinner when she started to feel faint.
Collins went and rested on a sofa at the hotel's bar, while her fifth husband Percy Gibson--who was born when Joan was married to her second husband, which means her eighth husband is being born now--called for an ambulance. Collins was discreetly helped out of the back of the hotel.
Joan Collins: "The truth was, I made the wrong decision to wear a very tight dress, and had something rather like a Victorian swoon." I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, Joan Collins invented the Victorian swoon during the Victorian Era.
Now, that picture there, of the centuries old Collins, is one of her in the dress. Doesn't look too snug to me. But maybe it was the corset she borrowed from Marie Antoinette.
Just sayin'.

It looks like the drug addict don't fall far from the tree.
Whitney Houston's daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, has fired back at a National Enquirer cover story ALLEGING 17-year-old Brown was snorting cocaine at a party. She turns 18 on Friday.

The Enquirer photo spread shows Bobbi Kristina snorting a white substance, and we know it ain't crack, because crack is wack, like Mama says.
Bobbi Kristina made her case via Twitter, saying, "a former very dear person to me did this. Set me up to make it look exactly what it looks like. God will smite them yes..But it's really not what it looks like.. People will do anything for money which is extremely sad, and I'm very hurt by this."
Um, okay, so it isn't what it looks like, but, um, what is it, because we all know what it looks like.
See, according to the Enquirer--and remember, they broke the John Edwards adultery story so they must be a reputable source--quotes Bobbi Kristina's ex-boyfriend as saying, "Krissi is addicted to cocaine. I've tried to stop her, but all she said was, 'I'm just like my mother!'"
Bobbi Kristina, again on Twitter: "Thing's people do these days to hurt others is a shame. All I can do now, is keep my head up high, keep looking towards the lord.All the lord is telling me is be still. That's all, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."
Hmm, didn't her Mama say the same sorts of things when people said she had a drug problem, which she denied and denied and denied, until she admitted it was true?
Bobbi Kristina: "I love my family so much. My mom just comforted me to the max, and I'm so thankful for her. Thank you so much lord for blessing me with an Phenomenal family and incredibly phenomenal mother. Thank you for giving me the strength to move forward and put things in the past."
Hopefully this isn't true, but, well, it all sounds so vaguely familiar. I'm hoping Bobbi Kristina doesn't do a sit-down with Diane Sawyer.
And, to be fair, the National Enquirer has printed some very interesting Bobbi Kristina stories over the years. In 2008, they reported that a then-15 Bobbi Kristina "tried to stab her mom during an argument--and then attempted to kill herself by slashing her wrists," and in 2010, the Enquirer said Bobbi Kristina  was an "out of control....wild child....going party party-crazy."
And, continuing to be fair, in 2007, Whitney herself prohibited her then 14-year-old daughter from MySpace after photos of Bobbi Kristina ALLEGEDLY drinking alcohol and smoking weed surfaced.
Where there's smoke, there's probably a crack pipe.
Just sayin'.

Some people--not me--think Valentine's Day is the most romantic day of the year.
I'm guessing that this past Valentine's Day wasn't that good for Paula Abdul.

The former host of American idol, and the recently cancelled Live to Dance, placed a call to 911 on Valentine's Day while she was riding in a car with her boyfriend.
Crying, she told the operator of her emergency: "I wanna go, and he won't let me!"
And then she was heard, on tapes that TMZ acquired, asking her boyfriend, "Are you gonna drop me off 'cause I have emergency on the phone?"
Soon, thank god, the situation was diffused, and Paula happily sang, using Auto-Tone, "He's dropping me off."
Crisis averted!
Later on, when police spoke to Abdul, she claimed that the earlier incident was a minor argument that never became physical, and she declined to file a police report.
Luckily for Paula, the 911 operators in LA have nothing better to do than,listen to wannabe celebrities and hasbeens comp[lain about not getting their way.
Just sayin'.