I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

They tried to make her go to rehab, she said No No No....Okay, but only for a week.

Yup, after just a week in rehab for her ongoing battle with sobriety, Amy Winehouse checked herself out because she had to get to her European tour. You know, to make more money for more booze and drugs.

Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Trouble is, Amy wasn't ready to perform...apparently.
In her first concert of her "comeback" tour in Belgrade, Amy Winehouse didn't so much sing and dance as she did slur and sway.
If fact, La Winehouse was so awful, and so out of it, one of her backup singers took over singing the lead vocals on the songs Amy was struggling with--which was all of them--and many in the crowd booed and left the venue. At one point, Winehouse ALLEGEDLY threw her microphone to the stage and then proceeded to take a seat on the equipment or wander about the large stage in a daze.
Her representatives, hoping to cash in on the troubled singer, have already scrapped the next two dates of the tour, in Istanbul and Athens because "she cannot perform to the best of her ability" and feels "this is the right thing to do."
Um, the right thing to do, for everyone, would have been to keep her in rehab until she was sober enough to perform at least one song.
Instead, her tour resumes July 8 in Spain.

Wactress and former model Estella Warren who was charged last week with DUI, hit-and-run, battery on a police officer and resisting arrest, has checked into a residential treatment center and has volunteered to wear a Lohan anklet, AKA an alcohol-detecting SCRAM bracelet.

Nice, but, um, a little late, eh?
Maybe she should have tried to get sober before wreaking havoc on the streets of LA.
Whoever she is.
Her attorney says, "She wants to prove she isn't drinking. She's committed to making the situation right and moving on in a way that's appropriate. This scenario can be the catalyst for significant change. Estella's attitude towards this whole thing is awesome. She's more than accepting. She's embracing the personal opportunities that have come from this."
Yes, awesome isn't it.
To get rip roaring drunk and then drive, and while driving drunk as a skunk, you hit several parked cars, and when an officer tries to detain you, you assault him and resist his attempts to arrest.
Yeah, she's awesome all right.
Maybe we should call not drinking and driving awesome; not hitting parked cars awesome; not assaulting someone awesome.
Warren faces up to six months in jail on the four misdemeanor charges.
Now that's awesome.
 
You don't mess with Anna Wintour, and you don't make Hitler comments on a Steven Spielberg film.
Someone should have told that to Megan Fox.

It is being ALLEGED that Spielberg demanded that Megan Fox be fired from the third 'Transformers' movie after she compared director Michael Bay to Hitler.
Michael Bay is quoted in London's The Daily Mail as saying, "You know the Hitler thing. Steven (Spielberg) said, fire her right now."
Fox was replaced by Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in the latest installation of the 'Transformers' series called 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon.'
Fox shot into the limelight after the first two 'Transformers' movie, and became the next It Girl--though now she might be the Was Girl--after telling London's Wonderland Magazine, "[Bay] wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it's endearing to watch him. He's vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he's a tyrant."
Adolf, er, Michale Bay did say that he was not hurt by the said the Hitler comment, but apparently Spielberg wasn't having it. In fact, he wasn't the only one who was not a fan of Big Mouthed Megan. In an open letter on Michael Bay's website, an anonymous crew member wrote: "We've had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both 'Transformers' movies."
Ouch.

Oh, I knew he'd bounce back.
Mere minutes after being left very near the altar, Hugh Hefner has found himself another plaything; and an older one at that.

Yes, people, we can all rest easy now that Hef has found a new love to ease the broken heart of having his six-decades-younger bride, Crystal Harris, walk out on him just days before their nuptials. And this new, older, woman in Hef's life? Well, it's none other than Miss January 2011, Anna Sophia Berglund, who is just five-decades-nine-years-three-hundred-forty-one days younger than Hef.
But before anyone thinks this all about love and happiness, let's remember who were dealing with: the Consummate Ladies Man. And, as a Playboy insider says, "The image of an old man sitting at home broken-hearted is bad for business. Hugh knows that what's best for the brand is for him to start dating again no matter how much pain he is in."
So much pain, so many nude models.
And now, just days after Tweeting of his anguish at being left bride-less, Hef Tweeted: "After all is said and done, staying single is probably the best. I think I just missed a bullet."
And gained a new cover model.

Well, it never takes long for former wacktress Lindsay Lohan to get in trouble, does it?
It seems that the serial rehabber and career criminal tested positive for alcohol and has been ordered to appear in court.
Tested positive while she was on house arrest, mind you.

It is being reported that Lohan was tested twice last week for drugs and alcohol, while serving her sentence under house arrest, and she tested positive for alcohol. She is under house arrest for stealing a necklace from a jewelry store.
This positive test is, of course, a violation to the terms of her probation and the 24-year-old alcoholic jewel thief appeared in front of Judge Stephanie Sautner last Thursday.
A source--and by source, I mean the guy who mixed the Mojito for Lindsay at her last House Arrest Party--says: saying, "Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox said she couldn't consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court tomorrow."
Seriously, when is this fool gonna do some actual jail time? And, by actual, I mean longer than a couple of hours. She has been handed every chance in the book and she keeps doing whatever she pleases.
Maybe an actual prison term will snap her out of it.
Or make her better at covering her jewel-thieving-drinking-and-drugging antics.
UPDATE: No jail for this criminal. She says the alarms went off because of the special 'tea' she drinks, which has 5% alcohol. Funny how it hasn't affected her SCRAM ankelt before now, huh?

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Ricki Lake is talking. A lot. Apparently, she is developing a new, another, talk show, and is telling anyone and everyone, who will listen, about the show, about her love life, about her ongoing weight loss, about the book she's writing about her life story because we all can't get enough of......what's her name again?

Oh, yeah, Ricki Lake.
But, um, yeah, one thing Ricki ain't talking about is how she is being sued by Hovsep Kousayan, the owner of a house in Malibu, that Ricki and her family rented last year, and that burned down last September. It is being ALLEGED that the fire that destroyed the beachfront home was started, accidentally, of course, while Ricki was freebasing.
Wait, that was Richard Pryor.,
No, Ricki ALLEGEDLY started the fire when she spilled oil while refilling a space heater.
In his lawsuit, Kousayan is ALLEGED to have spoken with emergency responders who claim that on the scene, Lake essentially admitted to causing the blaze. In fact, on the 911 tape, a panicked Lake is heard saying to her children, "Mommy made a mistake."
The Sheriff's Department of Los Angeles County investigated the fire at Lake's rental home and concluded that it was an accident. Capt. Larry Robideaux: "Ms. Lake was refueling a portable heater inside her home and accidentally caused the fire...It took crews approximately ten minutes to extinguish the fire....This has been ruled as an accidental fire. Case closed."
Yeah, unless it's your multi-million dollar Malibu home that Ricki Lake ALLEGEDLY torched.
Hopefully her upcoming chat show pays a lot. I'm thinking she's gonna need it.

What do you do when, while you were married,  and making some forgettable Lifetime movie, you started schtupping your co-star, which caused your husband to divorce you, and caused your adulterous boyfriend's wife to divorce him?

Well, if you're LeAnn Rimes, you continue the drama.
It seems that while honeymooning with her new husband, Eddie Cibrian, Rimes Tweeted pictures of herself, though not of the Weiner variety, that also caused a stir.
The pics showed a very thin, some might say emaciated, Rimes in a bikini, and caused all sorts of ruckus about how thin she's become; but hey, people, husband stealing burns a lot of calories!
Adultery? Check!
Rumors of an eating disorder? Check!
Now, it seems, she wants to be the new JLO and is fighting off rumors that a sex tape, made with her former husband, Dean Sheremet, is floating around, which caused Rimes to Tweet:  "I hear there are rumors of a 'sex tape' I have never filmed myself having sex on tape, period. Haven't joined that club LOL! Just wanted to put minds at ease."
Yes, please put minds at ease, because the picture of your crackling thin body having sex, and now breaking in two, is an image I want to erase.
But keep on plugging.
Adultery? Check!
Rumors of an eating disorder? Check!
Sex tape? Check!
Now, we all know that publicity is good, really, but the kind Rimes is getting, for cheating on her husband, or being more than a bit anorexic, and having a sex tape, is not the way to go.
In the words of the Dixie Chicks: LeAnn? Shut up and sing.

This breaks my heart. When two kids can't stay together, I get weepy.
Yes, tis true, dear readers, seven-hundred-eighty-five-year-old Hugh Hefner's twenty-five-year-old fiance, Crystal [and why are so many Playboy models called 'Crystal'?] Harris, has broken off the engagement.

Man, when two kids with so much in common can't make it, well, then, I lose all hope.
Hefner glumly Tweeted: "The wedding is off. Crystal has had a change of heart."
Or, maybe she realized she was marrying a man old enough to be, not her father, no, not her grandfather, no, but her great-grandfather. So, so much in common.
Harris, who is an aspiring singer, and is ALLEGEDLY romantically involved with Dr. Phil's son, said: "After much deep reflection and thought I have decided to end my engagement with Hef. I have the utmost respect for Hef and wish him the best going forward. I hope the media will give each of us the privacy we deserve during this time."
Let me translate: "After about a minute, I realized I couldn't marry a man who is old enough to have seen the turn of two centuries. I'm a hot nude model who can sing and am trying to shop a reality show around town, and I couldn't be bothered with changing He'f's diapers on a daily basis, so I'm Audi."
As for the privacy part, that makes me giggle, because they were going to film the wedding and show it on TV. Yeah, this is sad. I'm heartbroken.

Troubled actor Charlie Sheen is telling anyone and everyone who will listen that he has another TV gig lined up after being fired from CBS' 2.5 Men for being a drug-addled douche.

It seems that sources--and by sources, I mean, porn stars and drug dealers, because this is Sheen we're talking about--close to Sheen have said that the wacktor is in talks for a new TV series that could debut as early as January 2012.
Trouble is, no one is talking about any network, or any deal or any show. And still, Sheen's representatives are saying he is in "deep negotiations" and the deal could be done by the weekend.
The series, ALLEGEDLY a sitcom, will be written specifically around Sheen--which means he'll be playing a drug-addled, bipolar, sex-addicted narcissist--and that there will be no pilot shot. This is definitely a go, because, well, it stars Charlie Sheen.\
Winning.
And while minor details--like what network would hire him....like is he to be paid in cash or cocaine....like who's producing it....like how many porn stars are on the payroll--have not been been revealed, one thing that Sheen has clearly stated is that 'Two and a Half Men' creator and producer Chuck Lorre will not be involved in the new show.
Oh, I thought that was a given.
Good luck in Fantasyville, Charlie.
 
Oprah Winfrey.
What's does the Big O do when her TV show ends and her network, OWN, is really kind of a failure?

Well, she decides to have another talk show, on OWN, so maybe people will watch. And by people, i mean people who don't wanna see Shania Twain get her career back, or see The Judds in therapy, or watch Ryan and Tatum O'Neal bring their dysfuntionality to the small screen.
Yes, the Big O--who just ended her talk show on a network she doesn't OWN--will be back on TV sooner than we thought, when "Oprah's Next Chapter" starts airing.
And who does O want as a guest?
O followed quickly by J.
O says her "dream" is to take on O.J. Simpson and get the ultimate scoop, like having him admit on TV that he murdered two people in cold blood: "I have a dream of O.J. Simpson confessing to me. And I am going to make that happen people."
As God is my witness....or...in Oprah-speak...As I am my witness!
O told interviewer Paula Zahn that she has one big condition for sitting down with OJ: "I don't just want the interview. I want the interview on the condition that you are ready, Mr. Simpson."
Don't hold your breath, O. The only confession you'll ever get from OJ is that he likes cakes and pies as much as you.
So, stay busy on OWN, making new shows like "Oprah's Next Chapter" and "'Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes" and "Oprah Presents Master Class" and "Your OWN Show: Oprah's Search for the Next TV Star."
OMG. O and OJ. OMG.
So many O's, so little interest.
 
Some woman with an ass the size of a '67 Dodge Dart, named Coco, who is married to a man named Ice-T, is calling out singer Nicki Mina by saying that Nicki's, um, ample assets are not really real. And not actually surgically enhanced, but more like, fake. Like stuffing.

Ice-T's wife, Coco--seriously, these are their names--revealed to, of all people, Perez Hilton that, as far as she knows, Nicki is rockin' the fake ass because she read that Nicki admitted her butt is bogus: "Well, I read that it wasn't. I thought that she came out with it. I heard it from her."
Then she quickly backtracked. "Okay I don't know... We're not even going to go there anymore. You know what I say about a lot of stylists that work with me... They work with me, they touch my body, they're doing stuff all day long. So they're doing that same thing to Nicki Minaj and they're saying a little bit different."
So, stylists are telling you, while they are touching your ginormous ass and fake breasts that Nicki is stuffing her drawers?
This is a worthwhile conversation?
Especially when Coco has been accused of wearing a doubtful derriere. But then Coco and her husband Sweet T, are the "stars" of a new reality show, and maybe need a little press.
And what a way to get it. Haul out your massive ass, and then say someone else's massive ass is fake.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.......

Color me stunned, not purple.
See what I did there?

Anyhoooo, people were all speculatin' that James Franco was high when he hosted the Oscars this year; well, maybe not people, but I was. And now comes word that Whoopi Goldberg has admitted, on a video clip, that she was stoned when she accepted her Oscar in 1991 for her role in 'Ghost.'
Whoopi says, on that tape: "Smoking cigarettes and pot every now and then are my habits. And I thought, 'I've got to relax.' So I smoked this wonderful joint that was the last of my home grown."
And then Miss Goldberg goes on to say that she was so surprised by her win that she was worried about getting onstage: "When [Denzel Washington] said my name and I popped up, I thought, 'Oh f---... okay, up the stairs... around to the podium... there's millions of people, pick up the statue, get the statue."
And apparently she pulled it off because I don't remember anyone talking about that back in the day. Except for Whoopi's mother, who could tell her daughter was high by her "glistening eyes" and called to scold her.
Whoopi ends her nearly two-decade old video confession with her own PSA: "I know you're not supposed to admit that you smoke pot, but I don't drink alcohol. Just because I do it doesn't mean you should."
Whoopi Goldberg high.
Who knew?

Poor Hef.

It seems that 900-year-old Hugh Hefner's 24-year-old fiancee, Crystal Harris, is not exactly ready to settle down with her centuries old fiance. She is ALLEGEDLY cheating on her grandpa with Dr. Phil's son.
Hmmm, which is worse, marrying a man thirty-seven times your age, or having Dr. Phil as a father-in-law?
Witnesses--and by witnesses, I mean pool boys at the Playboy Mansion who scrub the Grotto free from herpes and hepatitis--say that Crystal and Jordan McGraw were cozying "up at the Chateau Marmont in LA" and that while Crystal was hoping to keep their romance low-key--lest Hef send out the Hit Bunnies--Jordan doesn't care; he'll fight a nine-hundred-year-old man.
Jordan seems to be following in his older brother's footsteps; his brother, Jay, is married to Playboy model Erica Dahm. And his father loves to spank Little Phil while ogling pictures of his daughter-in-law.
Crystal and Jordan met when Jordan became the producer of her album at the Organica record label. Jordan, however, was subsequently let go "for dating female clients under the label."
Daddy would be so proud.
Not Daddy Hef, Daddy Phil.

Well, after a tense week, where talk was that Charlie "Winning" Sheen might be returning to 2-1/2 Men, rumors are flying that Jeremy Piven will be taking over.

A source close to the situation, and I think it's Jon Cryer--says: “Jeremy is a great actor and a hot commodity, his name has come up a couple of times in talks about who, if anybody, could step into Charlie’s shoes.”
But, if CBS wants to hire Piven as the new Sheen, they might, um, want to talk to Piven. According to his people--and by people, i mean the ones who keep him from eating sushi [Google it]--“No one connected in any way with Jeremy knows anything about this and that would include Jeremy.”
I wouldn't be surprised if Sheen does get his job back, unless, during his current stage show, "My Mental Breakdown," or, um, "Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo Of Truth" he continues to bash his show, his network, and the producers.
Money talks, even when it's talking about an insane drug addict.
Sidenote: I'm still waiting to hear from CBS about hiring me for the show, and then calling it, 'One Man, A Half Man, and A Homo'.
I smell Emmy!

Dina Lohan, Mom Of The Year, says that her daughter, pill-popping, chain-smoking, vodka-swilling, car-stealing, rehab-going, jail-living, Lindsay, never had any intention of agreeing to a plea deal and accepting guilt for allegedly stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice Beach jeweler.

Lindsay's attorney, Shawn Holley, kept on speed dial on every single Lohan phone, you know, just in case, has formally notified the LA District Attorney, and Judge Keith Schwartz, that Lindsay stomped her feet and said, "No deal! Now, let's go clubbing!"
Dina said her daughter never even entertained the idea of copping a plea. Which is true, because the only thing Lindsay ever entertained was a martini in a sippy cup. Dina says: "She was never going to plead guilty to a crime she didn't commit. All along Lindsay has never wavered regarding her innocence."
Lindsay never wavered, because she doesn't know what that means, All she knows, is that Mama Dina needs a new pair of shoes, and how's she gonna get them if her meal ticket is in jail?
How else can you explain the fact that Dina Lohan, with a straight face, thanks to Botox and Ketel One, actually said: "I saw the entire security tape, and it showed the necklace clearly being loaned to Lindsay. The jewelry store's only motivation was for publicity and profit."
Um, wow, Dina? Please to explain, how, if the necklace was clearly being loaned to Lindsay, she didn't bother to return it until the police got involved?
I don't know which is worse, the junkie jewel thief daughter, or the fame-whoring, living off my child mother.

Oh, this just screams trainwreck!

Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, just might be getting her own reality show.
I know!
Train...followed quickly by....wreck.
With rumors of drug addiction--Crack is wack--and a sex tape--How else am I gonna get famous--flying, the teenager might be laying her life bare on the small screen; Bobbi K even Tweeted the news.
“PS EVERYONE ! Guess what ?! _ we are currently in the process of meetings about starting my very OWN! RealityShow!!”
Again.Train.Wreck.
I mean, she did see Bobby and Whitney's reality show, didn't she? She saw how they came off as a couple of drug addicted hoarders, right/ She saw the fights, the arrests, the craziness fueled by all sorts of drugs, didn't she?
And she wants to do that, too.
Like Mama and Daddy, crazy don't fall far from the tree.
Bobbi K then sent another Tweet: “The world needs 2know me 4who I REALLY am_ U all will get 2see my everyday living_ walk with me thro startin my career. . EVERYTHING.”
Walk me thro startin' my career.
I have an idea, maybe in one episode, Bobbi K takes a spelling class.

'Dancing With The Stars'
Honey, no.

But, you know, with Kirstie Alley and her own special brand of wackadoo, it might be fun, if only for the feuds it starts.
It seems that Kirstie has struck back at late night host George Lopez on Twitter, after GLo likened Alley to a pig in a bit on his show.
Someone called WestCoastGal88 tweeted to Alley, "If you read my stream -- I just called George Lopez a PIG :)"
Alley quickly responded: "lol...a drunk pig...hehe."
This all started when Lopez made Alley the butt of a weight joke on Tuesday's Lopez Tonight: “She did a nice job. Her little hooves tapping away.” He then did a riff on the nursery rhyme, This Little Piggy Goes to Market, saying, “Before the show she went to the market. And then she had roast beef. And this is her going all the way home,” before playing a clip of a pig squealing “wheeeee” while riding in a car.
Not nice, GLo. not nice.
But, um, Kirstie, why you gettin' so pissy?
I mean, you did make an entire series about your weight when you did your "reality" show, 'Fat Actress', didn't you? If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and shut the refrigerator!

Jessica Biel doesn't let the grass grow under her vah-jay-jay, now, does she?
Roughly six minutes after being devastated that Justin...gay...Timberlake dumped her, Biel was spotted making out with man-whore Gerard Butler.

Wow. talk about an STD cesspool.
I know!
Apparently Biel and Butler are shooting a movie together in New Orleans and have become quite the Uglies Bumpers off-set. They were first spotted at a crew member’s birthday party, then, a couple of nights later, they went to get some Mexican food alone, starting drinking heavily, and left together.
Enchiladas + Pitchers of Margaritas = Roll in the hay.
They also had 'dinner'--insert your own euphemism here: ____--twice more later that week. Of course, both are denying their NoLa hook-up, and their reps are working overtime coming up with a different version of the "just friends" excuse.
A source--and by source, I mean the make-up gal who stands guard while Biel and Butler do the thrust and Moan--says: “They have never had dinner alone. They are always in a crew of people on the film."
So, it's group sex, then, eh?

In addition to being stupid--I mean, she carries cocaine in her cooch--and being a fame-whore--she once spent twenty minutes standing in front of an ATM machine because she spotted a camera--Paris Hilton is also ALLEGEDLY a racist.

It seems that the Hilton girls, Paris and the smarter one--which really isn't saying much, were at a club together--because, what else do they do--getting their jiggy on, when suddenly Paris looked into the camcorder her friend was carrying--because Paris documents every moment of her life so she can tell her gyno who she schtupped--and said: “We're like two n*****s.”
Oh, but she did--Google it.
I found this shocking, until I learned that LA Weekly has an excerpt from a new book written by Hollywood reporter Neil Straus, who interviewed Paris Skankton when she was 18, and he says this went down:
HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
STRAUSS: Which guy?
HILTON: (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
STRAUSS: How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.
Wow, Paris Hilton.
Cooch full of coke, brain full of mush, and a mouth full of s**t.
Right?

You gotta love it when your boyfriend has your back.

Sarah Lane, an American Ballet Theater soloist, was Natalie Portman's double in 'Black Swan'. And she gave an interview to Dance Magazine in which she said 'Swan' producers, Fox Searchlight, asked her to stop talking to the media. She says the Fox people wanted everybody to think Portman did most of her own dancing.
That must have pissed Sarah off, especially when you add that Natalie never thanked her when she accepted her Oscar, so Sarah Lane is talking again.
But she isn't getting far, because Natalie's dance-trainer-choreographer-fiance-and-baby-daddy, Benjamin Millepied, is pirouetting to her defense:
"It was so believable, it was fantastic, that beautiful movement quality. There are articles now talking about her dance double [American Ballet Theatre dancer Sarah Lane] that are making it sound like [Lane] did a lot of the work, but really, she just did the footwork, and the fouettés, and one diagonal [phrase] in the studio. Honestly, 85% of that movie is Natalie."
Take that, Sarah! And, back to the chorus!

Poor Star Jones.
No one likes her.
Seriously, show of hands: who likes Star?
:::crickets::::

We all know that on the current season of Donald Trump's 'Ego Apprentice' Star, and 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' dive NeNe Leakes haven't been getting along. NeNe even went so far as to say that if Star was on fire, she wouldn't a spit ball her way.
Ouch.
And to pour salt into that wound, NeNe is now hanging around with one of Star's former flamers, er, flames, and ex-homo-husband, Big Gay Al.
I know! Dee-lish!
A source--and by source I mean NeNe, because who loves to gossip about NeNe more than NeNe--had this to say: "Star thinks it's pathetic that these two has-beens have teamed up together. NeNe knows how much pain and hurt, that man caused Star. For NeNe to suddenly befriend him tells you exactly what sort of woman she really is. Al will do anything to get back into the press, including hanging out with reality stars. But to be getting close and personal with a woman who has publicly stated she wouldn't spit on your ex-wife if she was on fire is just desperate."
Poor Star. She marries an ALLEGED homo, tells the world that he is ALLEGEDLY straight, and then dumps him, and now gets all aflame because her ex and her enemy are friends.
I mean, NeNe and Al might be good for each other. Every diva needs a homo to help with make-up tips, and if anyone needs makeup tips, it's NeNe.
Al? Show her how you do the smokey eye!