I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Poor Nicolas Cage. It looks like his crazy hair finally turned the rest of him completely nuts.It seems Little Nicky was arrested last weekend in Louisiana after an, er, altercation, with his wife of six years, Alice.

Nicky was ALLEGEDLY very drunk, prowling the tattoo parlors and bars of New Orleans when a taxi driver ALLEGEDLY spotted Mr and Mrs Hasbeen Actor arguing loudly in the streets. Sidenote: you'd have to argue pretty loudly to cause a disturbance on the streets of the French Quarter.
The cab driver watched the fight for a moment, but the minute Little Nicky shoved Mrs. Little Nicky, the cabbie called the police. Which then lead to a very odd confrontation between Cage and the authorities. The NOLA police, not wanting to make a big scene by arresting a formally huge star, repeatedly asked Cage to just leave quietly.
But Nicky wasn't having it. That's what the Dronk does to you. Cage ALLEGEDLY taunted the police into taking him into custody, refusing their requests for him to quietly go home. Instead, Mr. Big Shot Asshat kept asking, "Why don't you just arrest me?"
So they did. And Nicky and his hair were charged with disturbing the peace and domestic violence.
Nicky was kept in lockdown, awaiting a bail hearing while his wife ALLEGEDLY denied that any physical violence occurred, and refused to press charges. But Nicky is known for his public outbursts and rages. There was a blow-up on a movie set in Romania, as well as a previous bar fight in New Orleans last year.
And there is also his ongoing battle with the IRS, who claims Nicky owes them millions in back taxes. Also the wife of Nicky's first-born recently sued him for $13 million, ALLEGEDLY for back child support. And Nicky himself, probably knowing he needed the cash, filed suit for $20 million against his business manager, Samuel Levin--who simply said that Nicky lives beyond his means, and then filed a countersuit ALLEGING that Nicky was  continually advised to curtail his spending, including the purchases of yachts, Rolls Royce's and fifteen homes.
Nicky. Could your life get any more out of control?

Apparently it can.

Down in New Orleans, where Nicky Cage sat in jail, awaiting a bail hearing, reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter bailed him out by posting a bond of $11,000.
Really? A reality TV show star had to come to your rescue? Why not offer the bail judge a Rolls or a yacht in exchange for a Get Out Of Jail Free card?
Dog, AKA Duane Chapman, who never met a situation he didn't want to exploit for his own purposes, released a statement: "Media from around the world have been requesting interviews with me today after reports surfaced about my posting a bond for actor Nicolas Cage in New Orleans....I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to respect his privacy. I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show."
In other words Here's what I did and how nice I am and how much I love brilliant [sarcasm] actor, Nicolas Cage, but I will not be talking about how I personally bailed him out and then called the media.
And then, after he said he would say no more, he added, "This is what I do for a living. There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don't show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage."
Still, I'd keep Nicky on a short leash, Dog.
And, pardon my pessimism, but don't be surprised if you see Nicky in some big budget piece of trash movie where he plays a bounty hunter with bad hair--because he's got that part covered already--and one Duane Chapman is paid a handsome sum to be an advisor.
Just sayin'.

File this under: Wackadoo Mother-effers.

Ninety-four-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Prince [and he's not a real prince] Frederic von Anhalt, wants his wife to become a mother again by using an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother.
No. Seriously. And, one wonders why.
Dollar signs.
Freddie the Freeloader says: "I've gone through the initial steps of donor matching and blood work and next week the donation process will begin."
I'm not the only one stunned by this news. Zsa Zsa's only child--or formerly her only child--Francesca Hilton, described herself as shocked when told of the plan: "That's just weird."
But Von Anhalt says he is working with Dr. Mark Surry of the Southern California Reproductive Center in Beverly Hills, and, in that fatherly toner that one gets while awaiting the birth of guaranteed inheritance rights, said: "I'm a retired guy. I can take care of it."
It?
He also says Gabor talked about adding a new baby to the family and he wants to carry out her wishes. But, Freddie, she talked about adding another child to the family twenty-five years ago, when she was in her sixties. To which, von Anhalt swears that Zsa Zsa, who is gravely ill, brought up the subject again only months ago.
And he just wants to make her happy, and get a little executor control on the estate when Zsa Zsa passes. Oh, but he says he's not doing it for the money, he's doing it because he wants someone to carry on the Gabor name, because, you know, it's famous, or something. Or at least was about fifty years ago.
Why doesn't Freddie just change his name to Greedy Gabor? Problem solved!

Interesting story out of the NYC this week.

Apparently, my Husband-in-my-head, Anderson "Randy Andy" Cooper, came home to find a drunk emptying his bladder all over the front door of Andy's building.
Andy was incensed by the smell of hot urine on mahogany and instantly called the police.
No, wait. He Tweeted about it first:
Just got home, found drunk guy peeing on my bldg front door. He asked for my pic. Instead I took his. Am tempted to tweet it out. Annoying!about 10 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Now, to be fair, I wasn't just peeing on his door.
i was marking my territory.
So, follow Andy on Twitter and let me know if he Tweets my pic. I hope Little Bob and I look good!

In this whole Charlie Sheen mess, who do I feel most sorry for?
Denise Richards? Nah, she's making millions off Crazy in child support and media attention.
Brooke Mueller, who ALLEGEDLY survived a Charlie Sheen knife attack?
Or maybe it's his kids. Not so much the ones with Denise, and not so much the one he had with some model way back when. But the twins he had with Mueller.
I mean, they're just babies and their Daddy has gone off the deep-end.
And now, so has Mommy.

It seems that Charlie's latest estranged wife, and mother to his twins, Brooke Mueller, has once again gone all Lohan and checked into rehab for another try.
Mueller entered rehab after a week of ALLEGED drug binging, followed by her refusal to submit to a drug test even though it was required under the terms of her custody settlement with Sheen.
Wow, lovely parents who need to have weekly drug tests.
Mueller's representatives--and by representative, I mean, of course, dealers--say the 33-year-old has ALLEGEDLY re-entered rehab as a precautionary step should Sheen's lawyers bring up the drug test issue in court.
Wow, nice spin. You check into rehab in case someone brings up the fact that you're a serial drug abuser?
This is Mueller's second stab at rehab. She had previously rehabbed for ALLEGED drug and alcohol abuse issues in 2010. And just last week, she was caught on camera last week trying to pawn a pricey watch and stereo equipment in an attempt to get some quick cash.
Quick cash for what, honey?
Well, as some of her 'friends' ALLEGE, Brooke is only using drugs again because of ALLEGED calls asking for clean urine and recent cash concerns.
So, she's using drugs because she's afraid of being drug tested?
Or she's using drugs, costly drugs, because she's worried about money?
Brooke Mueller receives $55,000 a month from Charlie Sheen.
Like I said, these two losers can have each other, but someone needs to take care of those kids. Maybe a nice gay couple?

Not so fast, I guess.

Charlie Sheen's lawyer--and, sheesh, that guy must be on speed dial--will ALLEGEDLY ask a judge to grant both legal and physical custody of the boys to Sheen because of Brooke's drug relapse.
Of course, it also occurs to Sheen that if he gets custody of his boys he wouldn't be shelling out 55K a month. And think how many hookers he could buy, especially now that he's out of a job.
And Charlie Sheen has found an unlikely ally during this new drama with Mueller: his ex-wife, mother to two of his other children, and ginormous media whore, Denise Richards. According to rumors, Richards ALLEGEDLY heard about Mueller's bizarre behavior and rehab stint and offered to help until the situation settled down.
Denise then ALLEGEDLY called Sheen and offered to take care of the twins and let them live with her while Sheen was on the road with his 'Torpedo of Truth' tour. He reportedly told her he'd "keep her posted" on the situation.
I wonder if Denise also then asked for the 55K, too.
See, it is all about the money, not about those two boys and their drug-addicted parents.

This is funny.

M. Night Shyamalan, director of 1999's Oscar-nominated, 'The Sixth Sense,' was poised to be the Next Big Thing, the New Spielberg. He had no idea it would all be downhill from there.
Cut to 2010, where Night's latest movie, 'The Last Airbender', swept the film awards at a recent show. Only, it wasn't Oscar, or Golden Globe, or even BAFTA. He won all sorts of Razzies for his latest flop. Can it get any worse?
Oh, but it can.
Three movie fans are trying to raise $150,000 to send M. Night Shyamalan back to film school. It seems one of the fans--and I use that term loosely--came up with the idea after seeing a preview for a movie called 'Devil'. When the words "from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" came up on-screen, the audience howled and an idea was born.
Baker was joined by two friends, one of whom developed the idea of "M. Night School" as a name for the website. When news broke that Shyamalan was daring to make yet another disaster--'1000 A.E.' starring 'Karate Kid' Jaden Smith and his dad, Will Smith--the trio went live with their campaign.
So far, the boys have raised just $520.
But, if you love movies, and realize that Shyamalan needs a little re-education in the art of filmmaking, please give....give til it hurts.
A man's career hangs in the balance.

As Lindsay Lohan awaits trial on a felony theft charge, she has something positive to look forward to in the near future: two possible movie deals. One, is a documentary called 'Prison Laundry' while the other is a cinema vérité piece called 'Drug Addict Jewel Thief'.
I kid.

Kind of. It seems that Hollywood producer Marc Fiore has Lohan in mind for, not one, but two, upcoming movies, one of which is the much-rumored 'Gotti' biopic: "I want Lindsay to be in 'Gotti' and another movie that I'm producing. She's a great, great actress."
I did not make up that last line. Seriously.I.Did.Not.
To her credit, Lohan, desperate to be seen as more of an actress than a criminal, is quite interested in the role of Victoria Gotti. In fact, she even showed up unannounced and uninvited to stand next to Victoria Gotti at a press event.
Balls.Of.Steel.
Fiore also hopes to see Lohan in is 'Mob Street,' a Wall Street-centered mafia flick written by Chazz Palminteri.
Funny. All these movies, and Lindsay would be playing criminals, or relatives of criminals. Who says art doesn't imitate life?

But not anymore. It looks like there's one contract that even the Gotti family won't take out.

Lindsay Lohan is no longer up for the role of Victoria Gotti, daughter of legendary mob boss John Gotti, in the upcoming film 'Gotti: Three Generations.'
After trumpeting Lindsay as the most talented actress ever and saying he wanted to work with her over and over again, producer Mark Fiore now says: "We are not talking any further about Lindsay playing Victoria. She is no longer being considered. The talks have stopped. We are going to meet with other people."
Ouch. Dina must be rolling over in her grave.
Cuz she's like a vampire, I mean.
It seems only days ago that Lohan showed up unwelcome and unwanted at a press conference with Victoria Gotti and John Travolta. And it was only days ago that both Gotti and Miss Travolta sang the actress's praises, with Gotti saying: "I think she's doing great; I think she's going to continue to do great and she's got a lot of people rooting for her."
Those people rooting for her are all the people to whom she owes money.
Travolta added, "I've always thought [Lohan] was gorgeous and talented and filled with a lot of depth. So, I think that whatever she would like to do would be great with me."
What she'd like to do to Travolta is befriend him and then break into his house and steal all the costumes he wore as Big Edna in 'Hairspray'.
 Just sayin'.

How do you follow up being a media whore on a reality TV show, scamming your way into the White House, trying out for a rehab show only to be let go because you aren't addicted to anything other than fame and then finding out that your first reality show has been canceled?

What's a fame-hungry girl like Michaele Salahi to do? Pose for Playboy, of course. Because the world wants to see her rib cage and fake tatas. Only, even Playboy has standards.
Salahi, the now canceled fame-whore of the 'Real Housewives of DC' star, and self-described former model--I giggle at that--recently shot a series of sexy pictures and sent them to Playboy along with a letter begging to be in the magazine.
Hef.Said.No.
A source close to the magazine--and by source I mean the guy that strategically places the bunny logo onto every Playboy cover--says that Michaele was informed via email: "There is no opportunity this calendar year to offer you a cover opportunity or place for your pictorial."
They added: "So here are your skanky pictures back and we'll be sending you the bill from out opthalmologist who treated our eyes for severe retina burns after viewing your picture."
Not to be out-done in the media-whore-ness department, Michaele's chubby asshat hubby Tareq also sent nudie pics of himself to Playgirl.
They're still dealing with the stench of a group vomit over there.

We all know that Justin Timberlake lost his beard.
He broke up with Jessica Biel.
Now, there are reports that JT is ALLEGEDLY losing his hair.

Timberlake, who used to rock the curls, has now taken to wearing his hair closely cropped; and by closely cropped, I mean scalp-length.
A friend--and by friend I mean a bartender at the Ramrod--says Timberlake is mortified by his thinning hair and that is the reason for his very close haircuts: "He's keeping his hair super-short so no one notices."
Oh, honey, we noticed.
Timberlake's "friend" adds: "He's using specially formulated shampoo to promote hair growth. He certainly doesn't want to go bald!"
Oh, butcha'are Blanche, butcha'are goin' bald.
But, at least he's working on the beard loss. He has ALLEGEDLY been trying to hook-up with his 'Friends with Benefits' co-star Mila Kunis, but she refused his advances, saying, "Ewwwwwww." And he has also been seen with 'Tron: Legacy' star Olivia Wilde, who, through a friend, said, "Ewwww."
Just sayin'.

This story warms my cold, tiny, pus-filled, stone-like heart.

A group of people, ALLEGEDLY paid by Gwyneth Paltrow to be The Friends Of Gwyneth Paltrow, showed up at a dinner party to collect a paycheck and "celebrate" the actress-singer-blogger-maniacal-egotist's cookbook, 'My Father's Daughter.'
Employees of Paltrow, like Jay-Z, Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez and Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld all told stories of how Gwynnie is not like the rest of us. She's better.
But one person, ALLEGEDLY not on the payroll, showed up, and wasn't that impressed by Missy P and all her holier-than-thou-ness. And that someone was none-other than Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin. Martin ALLEGEDLY arrived cranky and his publicist warned, "he doesn't want to talk."

A party filled with people paid to praise his wife and Chris doesn't want to talk? I think I love him. But it is a little odd when your own hubby doesn't want to talk at a party promoting you, isn't it?
Luckily, the other employees loved talking Gwyneth.
Jessica Seinfeld, obviously angling for a substantial year-end bonus, ALLEGEDLY told the crowd how lucky they were to be invited: "You are all so lucky to be part of Gwyneth's world. Because this is the real deal. And she's invited all of you good people in here. I would never do that."
Then supermodel Christy Turlington reveled in how Gwyneth is a whiz when it comes to killing lobsters--and by lobsters, I, of course, mean employees who don't follow protocol: "It's not the boiling-in-the-pot-and-screaming lobster thing. It's a different, faster approach. You stick a knife through the head."
Sounds like a Gwynnie mob hit.
Even Michael Stipe played dutiful paid guest: "Once, a duck she was cooking caught fire, and she threw it in the pool."
Along with a party goer who looked hotter than Gwyneth, and another guest who didn't bow and scrape properly.
Still, amidst all this paid advertisement, and praise for All Things Paltrow, her husband, smart man that he is, hovered in a corner, sipping a Ketel One and Tonic and plotting his escape from Paltrow World.
Godspeed Chris. Godspeed.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

After Renée Zellweger shaved off her beard, i.e. she and Bradley Cooper broke up--he has ALLEGEDLY gone back to his previous, um, "girlfriend".

I mean, one mustn't allow those rumors of gayness to resurface, must one? So, yes, it seems Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Aniston are not-so-secretly dating again.
A source--and by source, I mean the guy that knows Bradley Cooper intimately....and I wish it was me--admits that the pair, who had "dated" back in Oh-Nine, have been in touch recently, saying, "Jen always had a soft spot for Bradley, and she thinks he is very attractive and charming."
And he has a soft spot for her, if you get my meaning.
Back in Oh-Nine, while promoting "The Hangover," and needing any and all kinds of press, rumors swirled about Cooper and Aniston. Bradley sashayed them off, saying, "I met her three times in my life. My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true."
My mom loves it? Every g_y boy tells his mama about his "dates," even when the "dates" are with girls. And, of course, as Cooper was saying it wasn't true, and he'd only "met" Jen, there were pictures taken of the "couple" dining in NYC. So much for the old, I don't know her.
I picture Bradifer, er, Coopeston....OMG, none of these work....um, Jenniley....Hmmm, maybe....staying together long enough to promote a couple of movies, and then there will be an amicable split, and Cooper will find another actress to team up with.
I ain't sayin' he's gay, now, I'm just sayin'.....hmmmm.

And speaking of hmmmm, where does a former boy-bander go when the bloom is off the rose?
I mean, if you a New Kid, or a Backdoor, er Backstreet Boy, you reunite as new Kids On The Block Doing The Nasty With Some Backstreet Boys and you go on tour and make a few dollars more.
But, what about the boys in the band, Ninety Eight Degrees? Yeah, the one that had Jessica Simpson's ex-husband in it. What about those boys?

Well, if you're Jeff Timmons and you haven't had much success parlaying singing with prepubescent boys until you're long out of puberty into a successful adult career, you become a, and he did, Chippendale's dancer.
Yes, Timmons will don a bow tie, and little else, except some booty shorts and body oil to spend four weeks--What? he couldn't get hired full-time?--with the strip/dance crew Chippendale's in Las Vegas.
Timmons, now thirty-seven, and a bit long in the tooth for boy bands and male strippers--will be shakin' what his mama gave him at the Rio All-Suite Hotel and Casino from May 12 through June 5. A press release states that as soon as Timmons comes on-stage, "the temperature will rise"--Get it/ ninety-Eight Degrees!--to be the guest star for the strippers, and the emcee.
Boy band to male stripper.
Yeah, that is the chain of succession, I guess,

Rod Stewart, nearing one-hundred,forty-seven years of age, is said to be thrilled at becoming a grandfather, but not so thrilled that his grandbaby daddy, Benicio del Toro, so causally impregnated his daughter, Kimberly.

Really, Rod? This from a man who has eight children with six different women?
It seems that Benicio's "people" announced through the press that del Toro is the daddy of Kimberly Stewart's baby, but that the two are not a couple. I guess it was just kind of drive-by impregnation. And Rod had hoped his daughter would have taken that walk down the aisle before getting knocked up, even though her own daddy did it the other way round on more than one occasion.
A friend of Rod's--and by friend, I mean his crypt-keeper--says, "Rod might seem like a wild man but deep down he is very conservative. What dad doesn't dream of his daughter's wedding day before she starts a family?"
Maybe the dad who knocked up six different women eight times? He has a son and a daughter with first wife, Alana Hamilton; a daughter with Kelly Emberg--whom he never married; two children with second wife but third baby mama, Rachel Hunter; and two children with Missus Stewart Number Three. He is also the father of a daughter who was born in the 1860s, er, 1960s, and put up for adoption.
Just sayin'.


So, what happens when your life of cocaine and hookers get you fired from your TV show and then you become some kind of trainwreck Twitter star and decide to take that mess on the road and then bomb magnificently at it? What do you do next?

Well, if you're Charlie Sheen, and you believe what your hangers-on are saying, you use your stage show, the "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option," to, at first, hint, that you want your old job back, and then begin talking about how you're not supposed to talk about getting your job back.
But, let's be honest, he needs the work. Suitcases of cocaine and closets of porn stars don't come cheap.
Even though, in his "show" Sheen blasts his former CBS show, "One Man, One Boy, and One Deranged Cokehead", he has been dropping hints about his possible return to his series.
"There've been discussions, but I was asked not to divulge anything," Sheen recently discussed and divulged. "Had they told me at the end of Season 8 that that behavior wasn't going to be cool, I would have adjusted it."
So, um, Charlie? Someone has to tell you that luggage filled with drugs and houses full of hookers isn't cool behavior? That, asshat, is problem Number One on a long list of problems. Problem Number Two is that the idea of you returning to your old show is playing only in your head.
Lawyers for Warner Bros. TV, AKA The Defendants in Sheen's $100-million-dollar lawsuit to get his job back, released a staement saying Sheen's claims to a Boston radio station are completely untrue: "As you know, there have been no discussions, there are no discussions, and there will be no discussions, regarding his returning to or having any involvement in the series."
Of course, Sheen's lawyer, Marty Singer, who works round the clock keeping Sheen out of trouble, and fails miserably, shot back: "That's ridiculous. There absolutely have been discussions. As late as this Tuesday there have been discussions about Charlie coming back and everyone was involved."
Maybe the discussions were about Charlie coming back.............and cleaning out his dressing room. i mean, would you go in there without a HazMat suit?
Just sayin'.

Now that her husband-grandfather, Michael Douglas, is on the mend after completing treatment for throat cancer, Catherine Zeta-Jones has decided to check herself into the hospital. Or, more appropriately, the psych ward.

Her representative--and by representative, i mean the guy who keeps the painting of CZJ painted in the late 1800s up in the attic where no one can see it age--says, "After dealing with the stress of the past year, Catherine made the decision to check in to a mental health facility for a brief stay to treat her Bipolar II Disorder."
And, by Bipolar, he means her Obsessive Need To Be The Center Of Attention. After a year of people talking only about her husband, CZJ decided it was time to shift the focus back to her.
Of course, it wasn't just Michael Douglas and his cancer stealing the spotlight, it was those two kids of theirs always looking for mommy's love, and then that son of Michael's, Cameron, being sent to prison for dealing drugs, and then the first Mrs. Douglas suing for more money..
Don't.These.People.Know.It's.All.About.C.Z.J?
Just sayin'.

I think one should star calling Elizabeth Hurley The Boomerang.

She was with actor Hugh Grant until Hugh got friendly with a hooker.
Then she had a five-minute stand with billionaire Steve Bing, which resulted in her having Bing's baby--something he denied until he got three letters in the mail, D, N, A.
Then there was a short pit-stop back at Hugh Grant.
After which she up and married Arun Nayar.
Until rumors of an affair circulated, then came word of a divorce, and the revelation that her new love was Aussie cricketing champ Shane Warne, who was also married.
Now, she and Warne are "just friends" and she has ALLEGEDLY boomerang'd back to Hugh.
She has even admitted, in an interview with Hello magazine, that she and Hugh will "end up living together like Darby and Joan"--in England, Darby and Joan is an expression for an old married couple who lead a placid, rather hum-drum life.
I'm not sure about the hum-drum life, given his penchant for the Divine Brown's of the world, and her penchant for schtupping whatever comes along.
It sounds a little more Ho-hummer.
Just sayin'.

Kimora Lee Simmons is a moron.
That's all.
Well, okay, there's more.

It seems she shocked everyone by hitting a red caret event looking about thirty pounds lighter, and when asked about her sudden weight loss, and how she did it, the fool said, "I don't eat."
Yes, she did. This mother to small children says she didn't diet or exercise, she just stopped inserting food into her mouth. Half-joking, ALLEGEDLY, Kimora says, "I have shed the fat by not eating. But I don't like to tell the kids that so they think they shouldn't eat."
Apparently she still has some fat to lose.
In.Her.Head.
She says her new-found love for No Food Ever started when she moved to LA  and began hanging around with two "realtiy show" sisters--whom she won't name...though the letters K, K and K, seem to pop up: "I was out one night with two famous sisters, when a bunch of burgers were being passed around. I went to grab one and the two of them looked shocked. They said, 'We don't eat.' Then after I grabbed a burger, they said they were joking but I knew they weren't!"
So, she's taking dieting advice from a Kardashian.
Like I said, she still has the fat in her head.

Some people love her.
Some people hate her.

I fit snuggly in group two, and the reason is clear: there is no one on earth more enamored of Gwyneth Paltrow than Gwyneth Paltrow herself. And let's prove it, using her own words.
She says folks are "pissed off" at her because she's driven and unafraid of change, while they're not: "It's easier to not change, not do something good for you, not work on your relationship, not make yourself a meal, not work out. Everything in my life that's good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it."
It's all good because she made it that way. All by herself. No help or support from her actor-director parents. No help from her singer-songwirter husband. No help from Harvey and Bob Weinstein. She made it all on her on, and no one else in the history of the world knows how to do that, and we're all jealous.
Seriously.
Um, Gwynnie, honey?
The reason I don't like you has nothing to do with the idea that you can change and grow and adapt, it's because you think you're better than everyone else, especially since the Weinstein Brothers bought you that Oscar.
Seriously, Best Actress? That's comical.
And you made a movie about being a country singer--which bombed, by the way--and now you think you can sing? Homey, you have all the stage presence of a Q-tip with a passable voice. Please, do not make a record. Let your husband sing. He can, you know.
But she goes on, pondering about why many people hate her: "My theory is twofold. I think there's a part of me that because I think I do a lot, I think my work ethic is the reason why I'm successful. I think that a lot of people don't want to put in effort and it's easier to not change, not do something good for you, not work on your relationship, not make yourself a meal, not work out. [They're just] pissed off at someone else doing that. Everything in my life that's good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it....If everyone has an opinion then no one has an opinion. Ultimately, it's not about me...It's a projection. Sometimes if I hear of something really unkind or somebody's really misunderstood me or something like that for a second I'll be like, "Oooh wow that hurt," but almost immediately I'll be like, "poor guy." What state are they in that they're seeing that or projecting that."
See, she feels sorry for us because we don't work as hard as she does, and we just aren't good enough.
Yeah, that's why we loathe you Gwyneth.