Michele Bachmann: Just When You Thought She Couldn't Be More Idiotic

Michele Bachmann never met an issue she couldn't mangle, and now she's knee-deep in another one.


See, when Obama announced the stimulus package, to help get the economy moving, Bachmann was vociferously vocal about it, criticizing Obama, saying it wouldn't work, calling it gay and, therefore, of Satan, you know, her usual rhetoric.


But, um, Michele? Honey? Wingnut? Liar? Why then did you eagerly accept the money?


In private, it seems that serial liar Michele Bachmann not only repeatedly sought stimulus funds from federal agencies, but justified her rabid requests by claiming that the funds would create jobs and strengthen the economy. And yet, publicly Bachmann denounced the stimulus as an act of "overspending" and "fantasy economics" that hurt jobs.


Of course, when asked by her usual two-faced approach, Bachmann replied; "I voted against the stimulus and I was very public against the stimulus. After the stimulus was passed and the money was there, why should my constituents or anyone else be disadvantaged?" 


So, she thought it was wrong, she thought it wouldn't help, she thought it was bad policy, but she stood in line with her hands out to take it.


Asshat say what?


Bachmann says she sought federal money to create jobs in her district, even though she preached, because let's face it, with her religious wingnutism, she does a lot of preaching, that government spending [i.e. the stimulus package] would, in fact, hurt the economy and destroy jobs. Again, she said publicly that it would destroy jobs and then took the money in the hopes of creating jobs.


It's the Michele Bachmann special, a Two-Step-Flip-Flop Lie.


Does she even understand economics?
Does she even understand anything?


And let's talk about the debt ceiling issue. Bachmann was very vocal in her opposition to raising the debt ceiling, which would allow the U.S. to continue to borrow money, while policy experts from both parties agreed it should be raised.


Now, Bachmann is claiming she had never advocated for default, but had put a plan on the table that would have denied an increase in the debt ceiling and instead required the Treasury Department to prioritize payments to US creditors, Social Security recipients, Medicare beneficiaries and the military. But, was she aware that her "plan" would have required defunding a majority of government programs, from unemployment benefits to the FBI?


Bachmann was not bothered by that prospect.
Another Two-Step-Flip-Flop Lie.


And then, when asked how she would work with the Democrats if....and it's a big If....huge....she was elected president, Bachmann said she would "work tirelessly" to ensure that the Republican Party picked up 13 seats in the Senate, giving Republicans a filibuster-proof majority to enact her agenda.


So, she wouldn't work with the Democrats, and she wouldn't work with anyone who doesn't agree with her asshatted policies, her wingnutism, her fucktarditude.


Two-Step-Flip-Flop Lie.
That's what you get with Bachmann.

source

Seriously, Anyone Who Thinks This Asshat Is Presidential Material Is A F**king Loon

She cannot answer a question.
Or, when she does, she simply says, "I am running for the President of the United States."
She doesn't 'judge' but believes gay people are 'of Satan'.
Again, seriously, if you are thinking of voting for this delusional fucktard, then i would hazard a guess that you, too, are a delusional fucktard.
Just sayin'.

It's Not Just Her Eyes That Are Crazy.....

Lots of folks talking about the recent cover of Newsweek featuring Michele Bachmann looking, well, slightly crazed; okay, very crazed. Some folks, those with Tea Bags, are sayin' it's a deliberate attempt to discredit her campaign for the presidency.
Other folks, like Jon Stewart and, well, me, say she is crazy, and it isn't just her eyes, it's the stuff that comes out of her mouth.

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So, I present these without comment because that would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Let's listen in:

Michele Bachmann on the Theory of Evolution [2003]:
"Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being? There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That's where it's difficult to prove."

Michele Bachmann on the Gay Marriage debate [2004]: 
"We're in a state of crisis where our nation is literally ripping apart at the seams right now, and lawlessness is occurring from one ocean to the other. And we're seeing the fulfillment of the Book of Judges here in our own time, where every man doing that which is right in his own eyes—in other words, anarchy."

Michele Bachmann on the 'good news' about Melissa Etheridge's breast cancer [2004]:
"Unfortunately she is now suffering from breast cancer, so keep her in your prayers. This may be an opportunity for her now to be open to some spiritual things, now that she is suffering with that physical disease. She is a lesbian."

Michele Bachmann on wiping out the minimum wage [2005]:
"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."

Michele Bachmann's prayer for You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, an anti-gay heavy metal ministry that promotes the gospel to public school students [2006]:
"I thank you for how you are going to advance them from 260 schools a year, Lord, to 2,600 schools a year. Lord, we ask by faith that you would expand this ministry beyond anything the originators of this ministry could begin to think or imagine."

Michele Bachmann on Iran planning to turn Northwest Iraq into a terrorist training camp [2007]:
"Iran is the troublemaker trying to tip over apple carts all over Baghdad right now because they want America to pull out. And you know why? It's because they've already decided, that they're going to territory, they're- they're going to partition Iraq and half of Iraq, the western northern portion of Iraq is going to be called, the United, uh, the, the uh, -oh, I'm sorry, I can't remember the actual name of it now, but it's going to be called, um, uh, the, the, uh, uh the Iraq State of Islam, something like that."

Michele Bachmann, on her opposition to a bill that expands AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps' domestic equivalent [2009]:
"I believe that there is a very strong chance that we will see that young people will be put into mandatory service. And the real concerns is that there are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go to work in some of these politically correct forums."

Michele Bachmann, rewriting history for the teabaggers New Hampshire [2010]:
"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love for liberty. You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord."

Michele Bachmann Bachmann on how to fix the nation's long-term deficit [2011]:
"I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve this."

Michele Bachmann praising the Founding Fathers for their commitment to diversity [2011]:
"It didn't matter the color of their skin, it didn't matter their language, it didn't matter their economic status, it didn't matter whether they descended from known royalty or whether they were of a higher class or a lower class, it made no difference. Once you got here [to the United States] you were all the same. Isn't that remarkable?"

Michele Bachmann Said What!?!

Oh, F**ksNews! You Slay Me!

Listen to the last sentence......after, of course, wading through the WMD stupidity to get there:

Yes, indeedy, there were no terrorist attacks on the country during 2000 to 2008.
And, in other F**ksNews:

No Jews were harmed during the making of WWII.
The Blacks weren't slaves, they were just unemployed and we helped by giving them jobs, a home, three squares a day, and beatings and rapes.
The gays invented AIDS so we could kill off the heteros and rule the world.

What other 'news' stories can we expect from F**ksNews?

The Tool Shed.....It's Where I Put The Tools

'Bout time this tool was put away........

That's Our Nikki: Vindictive, Bitter, and Yes, Bitch

Our beloved.....I'll pause until the giggles subside...governor, the Transparent Nikki Haley, held an 'End Of Session' party at the Governor's Mansion, paid for by the people of South Carolina, where she served food and drink, paid for by the people of South Carolina, and Nikki asked everyone to come, except for some Democrats, and at least one Republican, that she doesn't like or feels like they crossed her.

Call it the Mama Grizzly Bore Complex.

The excuses for the interesting guest list began to fly almost immediately. Nikki's spokesmoron, Rob Godfrey, says the cookout was actually hosted by Nikki's husband so they could invite whomever they chose. But, then, why call it an 'End Of Session' cookout, if the First Hubby is the host? He has nothing to do with the legislature.

But, like most legislators, Democratic Representative Boyd Brown assumed all legislators were invited, until he was stopped at the gate of the house where Nikki lives for free, and told he wasn't on the list. Brown says he's not sure what he did to be excluded, but spokesasshat, Rob Godfrey, said Brown had publicly and privately disrespected Haley, and fought her agenda during the legislative session.

That was followed by a foot stomp, and a "So there," I believe.

Among others on the governor's It's-My-Party-And-I-Won't-Ask-The-People-Who-Don't-Kiss-My Ass list were Democratic....of course....House Minority Leader Harry Ott,  Democratic....of course.....Senator Brad Hutto, Republican....Huh? Oh yeah, he doesn't like Nikki....Senator Jake Knotts, and Smallville's own Democrat....naturally....Vincent Sheheen who just happened to nearly beat Nikki in the last election, and stomped her ass in every debate from here to Charleston, and continues to show what an awful mistake the Repugs of South Carolina made during the last election.

That's our Nikki. She said she'd be transparent and she is doing just that. It's transparent that if you disagree with her, you're on the Do Not Call list. It's transparent that while she lives in a house that I, and all South Carolinians, pay for, and throws a party that I, and all South Carolinians, including the dozen or so state legislator she didn't invite, pay for, that she'll do whatever the hell she pleases.

I'm waiting for the bi-partisan door to slam in her face. And the next election when Nikki gets sent packing.

That's a party I'd attend!


SC Legislators Say Haley Snubbed Them
Haley's Unwise Unwelcome List
Haley Bans Democrats from Mansion Party

Just A Thought: SHUT! UP!

Sarah Palin.
What makes you think--and I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you actually do think--that showing the picture of a dead bin Laden is gonna makes things better in the world? That it is in any way "part of the mission?

What makes you think that those people that choose to fly planes into our buildings because they hate Americans, are now suddenly gonna bow and scrape and say, "Oops, sorry. Never mind." once we show their leader with a gaping hole in his head?

You self-centered narcissistic unintelligent amoral bitch.

Killing Osama bin Laden was a good thing. Good for American morale that the perpetrator of 9/11 was finally punished for his evil. And good for the rest of the world's morale to see that justice can be served. Justice.

But where is there justice in showing the world this man's body? It will only serve to make his minions more vigilant in punishing this country. It will only serve to make their view of America, and Americans, the popular view. That we killed a man, danced in the streets, and then printed up his picture for millions of people to blog about and Facebook "Like" and Tweet about.

You are a complete moron. Every single day that passes, you get further and further from being a potential candidate for president; and let's face it, you half-term-quitter, you were never really getting close anyway.

The difference between you and Obama, besides about a hundred IQ points, an education, a brain, and a heart, is compassion, and understanding. He understands that showing that picture serves no good. He has compassion for the dead man even though the dead man showed us no compassion. He understands that showing that picture will only feed the anti-American frenzy of the terrorists, not make them turn tail and run.

He thinks. You don't

So, seriously, Mrs. Palin, Shut.The.Fuck.Up.

Oh South Carolina, Look What You've Done.....

In the interests of fairness, I actually know one of these wingnuts. Well, 'know' may be a bit strong. I've spoken to him, once, way back in the fall of 2008, just before the election. He was sitting in a bar ranting about Obama and how much he didn't like him, and I thought, "Okay, he's a Republican asshat."

Then he added to his diatribe when he said, out loud, for all to hear, "If Obama gets elected there'll be no living with those people. You know they'll be dancing in the streets because they love to dance."

To which I replied, "Oooooh, me too!"

:::crickets:::

Now, I don't want to point him out, but let's just say he wants to vote for Duh-Duh-Donald Trump.

Also, watch as Bachmann spouts her drivel, and the American flag tips over and all those patriots rush to pick it up off the ground....not. Even Bachmann pays no attention to Old Glory hittin' the pavement.

Last, but not least, the guy who says we spend too much money on edu-mah-cation. Did he not listen to a single one of these illiterate fucktards? So, without further ado, I give you the Teabaggers, mouths filled to the rim with Donald Trump's hairy balls, of South Carolina:

These Make Me Giggle Like A Schoolgirl

Originally, I was going to post these as part of tomorrow's edition of 'I Didn't Say It' but I just cannot wait. These are comedy gold, from two of our most wingnutty, asshatted, fucktardy GOP goosesteppers.

First up, the Mama Grizzly Bore.

She was said to be upset that Kathy Griffin was set to play a "Sarah Palin" type on an upcoming episode of Glee--probably because she was pissed the Glee folks didn't think she was a Sarah Palin-type and the show is on FOX, after all. So, The Bore went after Kathy:

"You know, Kathy Griffin can do anything to me or say anything about me, because you know, she's kind of this - she's a 50-year-old adult bully is really what she is...She's kind of a has-been comedian and she can do those things to me. I would just ask for respect of my children. As she had stated on CNN that her New Year's resolution was to destroy my 16-year-old daughter, that takes it a little too far."

So, let's see, Kathy Griffin, Emmy nominated, Grammy nominated, working comedian is a has-been? Well, then, what do we call someone elected to public office who quits halfway through because it was getting too hard?

As Griffin herself said, Palin "has been" a governor.

And, seriously, Bore, enough with the bully chatter. Kathy Griffin is a comedian, and there's a difference between making a joke about you and your ridiculous band of hillbillies and, oh, I dunno, calling someone on Facebook a "fag" like your daughter does.

And, now, the other half of our comedy duo, Newt "I Fuck Around" Gingrich:

On CBN--the Christian Broadcasting Network--Newt Gingrich finally opened up about being married three times and cheating on Wife One with Soon-To-Be Wife Two and Wife Two with Soon-To-Be Wife Three:

“There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them. I found that I felt compelled to seek God’s forgiveness. Not God’s understanding, but God’s forgiveness. I do believe in a forgiving God. And I think most people, deep down in their hearts hope there’s a forgiving God. Somebody once said that when we’re young, we seek justice, but as we get older, we seek mercy. There’s something to that, I think.”

See what he doe there?

He says he fucked his mistress while married to his first wife, and then schtupped another mistress while married to his second wife because he works too hard and passionately for this country.

See, it's America's fault that Newt Gingrich can't keep his Mini Me in his pants. He cares so much about the country that he has to get his frustration out by boffing anything that comes along--but then he does the right thing and marries her, so......

And, maybe God will forgive him for being a liar and an adulterer, while his wives fight cancer, and maybe some Americans--who cheat and lie, too--will forgive him, but most Americans won't forget that he's a liar and a cheater and a serial adulterer.

He's probably schtupping Wife Number Four right now.