There's Nothing Worse Than A Bigoted, Homophobic Politician

Unless it's a bigoted homophobic politician who likes to prowl Craigslist for young men offering good times. You know, when the politician isn't voting all anti-gay and stuff.

Yes, folks, it seems that Indiana state Republican representative, Phillip Hinkle was caught emailing a young man, and offering him $80, plus tip, to spend some, um, quality time with the congressman at his Marriott hotel room.

The emails, sent from Hinkle's publicly listed personal address--how's that for smart--ask the young man for "a couple hours of your time tonight" and offer him cash up front, with a tip of up to $50 or $60 "for a really good time."

For a really good time with a self-loathing, closeted homophobic, anti-gay voting queer? Oh, honey, that tip won't cover it at all.

Kameryn Gibson, the young man in question, advertised his good times on Craigslist, saying "I need a sugga daddy." But when he met his latest 'sugga' at the hotel, and learned that Hinkle was a state lawmaker, he tried to leave. But, Kameryn Gibson says, Hinkle wouldn't let him leave, and instead grabbed his ass, then exposed himself. Hinkle subsequently offered payment of an iPad, BlackBerry cellphone and $100 cash to keep quiet.

When contacted by The Star newspapers about the emails, Hinkle did not contest the emails but said, "I am aware of a shakedown taking place."

Oh honey, I bet you more than shook it down.

Still, when asked what he meant by shakedown, Hinkle would not elaborate and, naturally directed all further questions to his attorney, Peter Nugent, who also was unclear of what Hinkle meant by a "shakedown" but said he was investigating the situation.

Hey Pete? Here's the situation. Your client is a self-loathing closeted homosexual who likes to prowl Craigslist for tricks, but this time he got caught and is now playing the Larry Craig Foot Tap Shuffle Victim card.

Caught up now, Pete?

Apparently not, because Nugent then released his official statement: "Representative Hinkle is aware of the inquiries by The Indianapolis Star and we are investigating the matter at this time. We request that everyone respect the privacy of the family at this time."

Respect his privacy? Oh, honey. No. No.

 Hinkle has been an Indiana state lawmaker since 2000, and is best known for his interest in local government issues, such as being co-author of the bill that created the "In God We Trust" license plate. he is naturally anti-marriage equality, pro-DOMA and would like to see the return of DADT.

As for the shakedown theory, there are some on the Hinkle side who believe that Kameryn Gibson and his sister, Megan, planned the whole thing just to get, um, an iPad....or a Blackberry....or maybe a hunbdred bucks.

It was Megan Gibson's email account that Kameryn used for his Craigslist ad, and it was Megan gibson who provided the media with the email exchange; she even allowed a reporter to inspect the emails, which she had kept on her phone. Her phone contained not only the email exchange but a call log that showed phone calls from numbers that match both Hinkle's cellphone and home phone.

Gibson's Craigslist ad was posted at 7:37 AM Saturday and shows two pictures of Kameryn Gibson, shirtless with pants pulled below the top of his underwear. The ad text says: "Email me and I'll tell you everything you need to know!"

Forty-seven minutes later, Kameryn Gibson received a response from phinkle46 @comcast.net, with the email signature "Sent from Phil's iPad." That message said: "Cannot be a long time sugar daddy, but can for tonight. Would you be interested in keeping me company for a while tonight?"

Hinkle's email offers "to make it worth (your) while" in cash, and offers a personal description: "I am an in shape married professional, 5'8", fit 170 lbs, and love getting and staying naked."

Quickly, Kameryn Gibson replied: "Yes I can!"

The subsequent email exchanges show phinkle46 @comcast.net asking: "what will make you happy for giving me a couple hours of your time tonight?" And Gibson replies: "Wat (sic) can you give me?"

Phinkle46 @comcast.net: "How about $80 for services rendered and if real satisfied a healthy tip? That make it worth while?"

Offer. Acceptance. Deal.

The two agreed on the price and discussed logistics. An email sent at 9:44 AM, also sent from Hinkle's personal account, lays clear the parameters for the tip: "Final for the record, for a really good time, suggests: "If u want to consider spending night u might tell ur sis so she won't worry. Would have u back before 11 tomorrow. No extra cash just free breakfast and maybe late night snack."

Now, it is quite clear that the emails make no mention whatsoever of sex acts being performed in exchange for money; prostitution is illegal in Indiana. But, still, a married man asking a young man to visit him in his hotel room, pay him a little something for their "good times" and then offer him a free continental breakfast in the morning is quite odd.

Kameryn Gibson says Phillip Hinkle picked him up in a white car, and when they arrived at the hotel, Gibson was given the room key and told to go into the hotel alone because they couldn't go in together. Some 15 minutes later, Hinkle entered the room, changed into a towel and then, during small talk, informed Gibson he was a lawmaker and proved it by showing him an identification card bearing the name Phillip Hinkle.

"My eyes got big," Gibson says. "I didn't really know what to say, so I didn't say anything. It was just a shock." And, now aware that he was in a hotel room with a politician, Gibson got cold feet, telling Hinkle, "Yeah, I don't want to do this."

Gibson says Hinkle responded with: "You need to do this, because I came and got you, and I'm not taking you back until we do what we need to do."

Gibson excused himself to the bathroom and called sister who said she would come get him immediately. When Gibson returned to the bedroom, Hinkle again said he couldn't leave, and Gibson again called his sister again, who asked to be put on speakerphone. "I started cussing him," Megan told the media. And she also threatened to call the police and the local media.

"[Hinkle] said, 'I'll give you whatever,'" Megan said.

But when they hung up, Kameryn Gibson said Hinkle grabbed him by the right arm, just below the shoulder, then also grabbed his ass, dropping his towel and exposing himself. 
When Megan Gibson arrived, she again threatened to call police and the local media, so Hinkle offered up his iPad, a BlackBerry and $100 in cash.

After Kameryn and his sister left the hotel, the Blackberry Hinkle had given them began to ring, and one caller identified herself as Hinkle's wife. "Your husband is gay," Megan said. And the women said that she had the wrong person. But, after Megan read the caller the emails from phinkle46 @comcast.net the line went silent, until the woman finally said, "Please don't call the police."

Megan says she did receive another call from Mrs. Hinkle, offering $10,000 if she kept quite about her brother's encounter with the politician, and then Hinkle himself called, and when told of Megan's conversations with his wife, said, "You just ruined me."

No, Phillip, you ruined yourself by living a self-loathing closeted life, and struggling with your homosexuality and being afraid to be who you are, so much so, that you seek out anonymous young men for "good times."

Not so good now, eh?

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Paul Marcarelli: Can You Hear Me Now? I'm Gay!

Paul Marcarelli. The name may not seem familiar, but you all know him. He was the Verizon Guy, Mister "Can you hear me now?" for about nine years, until the company informed him they were taking their ads in a 'new direction'.

And he's gay.

Now, Verizon didn't change their ad campaign because Marcarelli is gay, they changed it because they can. That's not the story. The story is about homophobia in the US of A, and how, even in the 21st century, people have  a hard time coming out.

Now, to be fair, Verizon did keep Marcarelli on a short leash. His contract prohibited him from doing any other commercial work, and forbid him from disclosing anything about the Test Man campaign. In an article for Ad Age magazine, entitled “Verizon Keeps ‘Test Man’ on Short Leash”, it was made clear that Verizon “adamantly maintains … that the actor who plays [Test Man] should certainly not be ‘heard.’” In fact, you would have been hard-pressed to even get Marcarelli's name from Verizon, they were so secretive about his identity. He was to be the Test Man, and no one else, I guess.

In a new contract, however, Marcarelli was given permission to promote his own projects--like The Green, a film he recently wrote and co-produced, that tells the story of a small town that turns against a gay couple when one of the men, a schoolteacher, is involved in a scandal. But even with his leash loosened, Marcarelli felt he needed to keep his anonymity, to protect the character, and his income. 

But, as I said, Paul Marcarelli is gay, so this story isn't about Verizon, per se, or his character, or even his new movie. it's about keeping us closeted and living in fear, because coming out just might jeopardize everything we have.

See, Paul Marcarelli heard 'Can you hear me now?' everywhere he went; he even heard the words uttered at his grandmother's funeral as the coffin was being lowered into the ground. Kinda funny, if I do say so myself. Maybe not so funny if it was my grandmother.

What wasn't so funny, though, were the cars that would speed by his home in the middle of the night, and the teenagers who would scream, 'Can you hear me now?' Those chants soon gave way to the screaming of 'faggot' at all hours of the night. Marcarelli says the shouts grew even more profane as the years--yes, years--went by. One night, it happened again, and Marcarelli decided it was time to call the police. But the moment his call ended he regretted the situation. “I realized that in order for them to do anything about it, it would have to become a report that would go into a police log.” 

And a police log would list his name, and a search would verify that he was that guy. Marcarelli wondered what might happen to his lucrative gig--he used the money from his commercials to fund a theatrical workshop he and his friends created--if word got that the actor playing Test Man was gay.

Marcarelli declined to file a report. 

Now, he doesn't blame Verizon for his silence. Even Paul Marcarelli knows he chose to remain mum about his sexual orientation and say nothing about the nightly homophobic drive-bys. But why should he have had to stay quiet? What kind of world is it that he can't be himself, or even protect himself and his home, because he's a gay man?

I know the world is changing, but it's stories like these that make me want it to hurry up and change already. People shouldn't have to hide themselves away, and keep their mouths closed, out of fear of what may happen when the world finds out they're gay. We've learned not to hide many things about ourselves through the years; we can be open about religion and employment and income and family, and family secrets, but we still have that stigma of being gay, and what that secret, when spilled, may do to a person. We need to change our way of thinking.

Can you hear me now?

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Darren The Caveman. Outed. After Death.

I am not a big fan of outing anyone. I think coming out is a personal choice, and we should let people out themselves. And we should question the motives of anyone who outs someone after that person has died. Remember when they did it to Abraham Lincoln? One-hundred-forty years or so after he died? Now, they're trying to out a 5,000 year old cave man.

I.Know. Five thousand after his death the worlds first ALLEGEDLY gay caveman has, well, been uncovered. Or, well, excavated.

Darren. Born that way, buried gay.

According to sources--and by sources, I mean a team of nerds in pith helmets, with tiny shovels and paint brushes and too much time on their hands--the way the Caveman, henceforth to be known, on ISBL at least, as Darren, the way he was buried suggests that he was of a "different sexual persuasion."

Persuasion? Really? Look, I know he was, literally a Neanderthal, but it isn't a persuasion! It's.Not.A.Choice. Darren was born gay.

His skeleton was unearthed during excavations in the Czech Republic, and Darren is ALLEGED to be between 4500 and 4900 years old. And, he looks good!

Still, the assumption that Darren was gay is based on the position of his body in his grave.
Men, er, straight men, were normally buried on their right sides, with their heads pointing west, surrounded by manly things like weapons, hammers, bowling balls, six-packs of Mastadon Lite beer, and flint knives as well as all kinds of snacks to accompany them to the other side. 

Women would be buried on their left side, with their heads facing east, and would be surrounded by necklaces made from teeth, pets, and copper earrings, as well as domestic jugs and an egg-shaped pot placed at their feet; you know, womanly things.

Now, while Darren was facing manly west, albeit, I guess, toward West Hollywood, he was lying on his left, AKA girly side, and was interred with household items and no weapons or knives. And one of those egg-shaped containers was found at Darren's feet 

Darren.Was.Gay.

Archaeologists don't think that the way Darren was buried was a "mistake or coincidence". See, during the time that Darren lived, apparently forever now called The Stonewall Age, AKA the Corded Ware era because of the pottery it produced, a great deal of care was taken during funeral rituals.. 

Lead researcher Kamila Remisova Vesinova: "From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake. Far more likely is that he was a man with a different sexual orientation, homosexual or transvestite."

So, Darren was gay, and he was also, possibly, The World's First Drag Superstar!

Shantay, you stay, Darren.

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