Just A Thought: Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich

One has been financially bankrupt, while the other is morally bankrupt, and yet they both think they can be President of These United States.

WTF.

Donald Trump says he will spend some $600 million of his own money-0-and lose $600 million of his own money--to win the White House.

Donald Trump thinks because he can buy a trophy wife, and buy off ex-wives he can buy the White House. And he's planning on doing that by pandering to the Birthers.

Oh, but he is.

He has said he wants to see Obama's birth certificate, but when he see it he doesn't believe it. He says he hasn't seen any pictures of Obama as a child but when he sees them he doesn't believe them.

Now, he's taken his Birther Mentality to a new extreme. he has posted his birth certificate on the right-wing website Newsmax to prove his theory about Obama And The Case Of The Birth Certificate. I believe he has Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys meeting down at the Old Mill Pond to help him.

But I digress.

See, one thing Donald Trump didn't realize, with all his millions of dollars, millions of ass-kissing flunkies, and bad hair, is that the "birth certificate" he posted on Newsmax is, and this is rich, not his birth certificate.

All that money and he's as dumb as a box of hair.

In fact, the document in question is not even an official New York City birth certificate [see below, courtesy of Towleroad], but is, instead, a document from Jamaica Hospital, where Trump’s mother Mary allegedly gave birth to her ball of hair back in June 1946. Had Trump taken five seconds out of his ego-stroking time, he might have realized that he needed to get his actual birth certificate from the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene’s Office of Vital Records.

Maybe Trump's trying to hide something on his birth certificate. I mean, Jamaica Hospital? Is that even in the US of A?

And then we have Newt Gingrich, whose moral compass alternately points to his frequently unzipped pants and the cooch of a future Missus Gingrich.

He is taking to the airwaves to discuss his life as a serial adulterer, and some folks--not me--think he's doing so because when election time comes next year, he'll have exhausted the subject and no one will care.

Oh really, Newt?

Um, I care.

I care that you're a hypocrite, trying to impeach a President for lying about an affair while you were having an affair and lying about it.

I care that you schtupped a mistress while your wife was battling cancer.

I care that you served said wife with divorce papers while she was battling cancer.

I care that you married the aforementioned schtup-ee and then schtupped around on her, until you decided to divorce her and marry the current Missus Schtupped.

Whom, as we all know from history, will soon find you dipping Little Newt into places where he shouldn't go....like the cooch of the next Missus Gingrich.

No, Newt, most people won't forget that you are a liar and a hypocrite and a serial fuck arounder. But we will forget you come election time.