Seriously. Retire Already

If I were one of those addle-brained, God-fearing men that believe the tornadoes were sent to Joplin, Missouri because of something Obama said about Israel, or that Katrina decimated New Orleans because of The Gays, I might think that the fires sweeping through Arizona have something to do with all those illegal immigrants that are down there taking jobs away from Americans and selling drugs and beheading people in the desert.

But I'm not, though, I think I found someone who is.

Old John "Get offa my porch, dagnabbit" McCain, says the fires in Arizona are being caused by illegals: "There is substantial evidence that some of these fires are caused by people who have crossed our border illegally....They have set fires because they signal others, they have set fires to keep warm, and they have set fires in order to divert law enforcement agents and agencies from them. The answer to that part of the problem is to get a secure border."

McCain uttered his baseless accusation at a press conference held just after he toured the area devastated by the Wallow Fire, which has burned over 500,000 acres to date.

Trouble is, as usual, McCain is apparently speaking out of his ass. He offered no evidence to support his claim, and Tom Berglund, a U.S. Forest Service spokesman, said there is no evidence that undocumented immigrants had caused the Wallow fire: "Absolutely not, at this level. There's no evidence that I'm aware, no evidence that's been public, indicating such a thing.”

Latino groups and anyone with half a brain quickly blasted McCain for his idiotic remarks. Angelo Falcon, the president of the National Institute for Latino Policy, said, "With the lack of evidence, he might as well also blame aliens from outer space for the fires.”

Don't give him any ideas!

On Monday morning, McCain's handlers went into action, trying to cover his half-brained rants by saying that he was referring to blazes in southern Arizona generally, both now and in years past. Brooke Buchanan, Senator McCain's communications director, said, "During the press conference on Saturday, Senator McCain was referring to fires on the Arizona/Mexico border, not the Wallow Fire.”

Except that was giving the press conference at the site of the Wallow Fire, so your explanation, Brooke, is just dumb. Like your Senator.

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"I Can See Mexico From My House"

It's all very hush hush, so secretive, but rumor has it that Sarah Palin has grown tired of being the helicopter-hunting-moose-easting-dumbass from Alaska and is planning a move to Arizona.
Arizona. Like that state needs another reason for the rest of the country to snicker at them behind their back. McCain. Brewer. Palin. It's the trifecta of moronic, dimwitted, bigoted, tyrannical politicians.
But chatter has it, though her lawyers declined comment, that a recent Arizona real estate transaction could see Mama Grizzly Bore relocating to Scottsdale. It seems that a $1.7 million cash deal closed on an 8,000-square-foot house in northern Scottsdale right about the same time political gossip-mongers began chattering that The Bore was looking at the upscale Phoenix suburb as a potential base for a 2012 presidential run.
I laugh because she still seems to think that she'll ever be president of anything.
But there are also rumors that The Bore might not try for the White House, but rather run for the seat of retiring Arizona Senator, Jon Kyl. Wow, Palin, Brewer and McCain, all in Arizona. It might be time to build that fence they keep talking about, only build it around the state to keep those wingnuts in.


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