Progeny

"We're happy to announce the arrival of..."

"Dan in Real Life" and "The Family Stone"

are happy to announce

the birth of their child,

"The Proposal,"

which weighed in at $34.1 million.

The proud grandparents are

"Meet the Fockers" and "The Wedding Crashers."

Present at the birth

was a great-grandparent, "Meet the Parents,"

in addition to several assorted distant relatives,

including "Pieces of April" and "Four Christmases"

and just about every other preditable film comedy about a zany weekend spent at the lavish home of a dysfunctional but charming American family.

Enough! Practice family planning already!